Cancer Advocacy

Never In My Wildest Dreams

The day is almost over here on the East coast, but there is no way that I could let this day (January 25th) end with acknowledging how special it is to me and so many others out there. 13 years ago today, Cervivor was founded (as Tamika and Friends, Inc.). This organization was founded out of my own cervical cancer diagnosis 16 years ago. My experience with cervical cancer not only changed my life but also, everyone around me. I made a promise that if I survived this experience that I would make my survivorship count. I honor that promise with every single breath I take.

WNBA Champions Cause to Eliminate Cervical Cancer 2005

When I created this organization I had no idea that January was Cervical Cancer Awareness Month, or that teal and white were the official colors for cervical cancer — there was a lot of orange!

All I knew is that I wanted to make a difference in the lives of others. I didn’t know how or where to start. I just knew that I had to do something.

Washington Post 2011

As most nonprofits, we started small — very grassroots. Sometimes I sit back and think of our first official meeting  — the binders that I created with orange butterfly stickers. They were hideous, but filled with an action plan that has brought us to where we are today. I sit and think of all of the things we’ve done since then, and it just seems surreal.

NYC Walk 2011

We held so many events over the years, but what I’m most proud of is the community that we’ve created. A community of not just women diagnosed with cervical cancer, but a community filled with caregivers, clinicians, researchers, health educations, social workers and so much more. I am proud of the industry partnerships and their support of our much-needed work. A lot of work that goes unseen, but is felt around the globe.

Our first Cervivor School January 25, 2014 NYC

Today also marks 4 years since we launched Cervivor School — our advocacy training retreats. We’ve had over 100 women graduate from our Cervivor Schools. This unique event is the leading advocacy training for women diagnosed with cervical cancer in the country. Our Cervivor School speakers are some of the most sought-after experts in the cervical cancer space. Our graduates are some of the most requested cervical cancer patient advocates.

This year will mark the return of some of our original programs and events (hello Stirrup Stories!), as well as new campaigns (I can’t wait for the big reveal!). We’ll continue providing our community with support and the latest news and updates. Our work has afforded us a seat at the table, and we are thankful for that. We’ve worked hard for that.

First global advocacy trip. Beijing, China 2011

My promise to you, our community is that we will continue to be an expert in the field of patient advocacy. We’re not going anywhere! Not while there are still women not being screened. Not while the HPV vaccine is still underutilized. Not while the stigma of HPV exists. Not while women feel alone. Not while women are losing their fertility, and not while women are still dying. There is way too much work for us to still do. I’m more determined than ever. I know you are, too! You’ve shown it this month alone.

Thank you for your continued support — however small or large. Thank you for helping us spread our Cervivor footprint. Thank you for helping us end cervical cancer. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that we would be here. But, here we are 13 years later, dedicated to what we started, still doing what we said we would do  – working to end cervical cancer. It hasn’t been easy, but neither was cancer.

xo Tamika                                                                                                                                                                                                                     16-year cervical cancer survivor AKA Cervivor                                                                                                                                          Founder, Cervivor. org

Apply to attend our upcoming Cervivor School here.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow: Cancer & Self Image

I have learned so much from cancer. They say, “Through darkness comes light.” I really believe that’s true.

In remission for the third time, having to lose my hair due to chemotherapy was hard on me as a woman. I know most will say, “It’s just hair.” Even I say it too, just to convince myself to stay strong. But, in fact, it sucks. It truly opened my eyes to everything I once wasn’t happy with.

Having cervical cancer reminded me of how I was so hard on myself and picked myself apart. I know I’m not the only woman who’s ever felt that way. I look back and think, “Wow Jill, you were so beautiful. Why didn’t you see it? Why did you pick yourself apart and not embrace your hips that measured 44 inches, or embrace your Roman nose?” After all, it’s my personal features that give me my character. Don’t get me wrong, I had confidence, but I still found things that I thought weren’t “perfect.” Nothing is perfect!

Every now and then I like to look back on pictures of myself before cancer. Why did I complain? I was fine the way I was. Now I’m fighting something more meaningful. I’m fighting for my life. I’ve learned to embrace life’s changes, how my body has changed and how I’m Mrs. T (bald) once again. Or how going #2 is completely different from before. Because I have a colostomy bag, this is now totally different.

So my advice to other women, especially women with cancer is to love WHO YOU ARE. Be happy with how you were created; focus on what you HAVE and NOT what you DON’T. Believe me, there’s something greater out there for you, if you believe. I’m a people watcher, sounds creepy I know. I often wonder to myself whether or not the person I’m admiring knows how eccentric he or she is. Being in the city regularly due to my medical appointments, I get to see all colors of the rainbow. The culture differences, the true beauty behind just how different we may look. But internally we’re all the same.

No matter what type of cancer you have ladies, just remember, you’re beautiful inside and out. Your inner beauty will always be there. We might need time adjusting to our shiny new heads or new gadgets attached to our bodies. But, with all the hardships that come along with our new appearances and emotions due to cancer, just remember how bad ass we truly are.

I hope to inspire other women dealing with Cervical Cancer to share their stories and true emotions without fear. Tell it how it Is; don’t hold back. Our cancer is tough, but somehow being painted as “easy.” If I can reach you with my story, just imagine who you’ll inspire by sharing yours. Let’s come together, share our stories, and help one another through our battles. We can help prevent future cases of Cervical Cancer, the one cancer that can often be prevented with a vaccine.

From now on, I’m going to love every inch of me because I’m beautiful inside and out. I will also remind my friend’s how beautiful they are as well. You have one life. Live it, love it, embrace the changes, take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself and others.

Now that I’ve gained my confidence back, I’m going to rock my bald head, wear my wigs and not care who’s looking. Because they could really be thinking, “Wow, she’s so fierce.” Those stares may not have anything to do with my cancer.

So gentlemen, don’t be afraid of our appearances, we’re strong women who know how valuable life is, how anything can change but we still ride the waves. How special love truly is. If you see a friend or a loved one going through the changes of cancer, please remind them how beautiful they are.

Jillian Scalfani is a young 34-year-old mother with an incurable form of cervical cancer. She and her children have a great support system when it comes to her friend’s and family. Read more about Jillian here.