caregiver

Being a Support within the Cancer Community

It takes a village.

When someone you care about is dealing with cancer it is hard to know what to say or do. Cancer brings on all sorts of emotions and stressors from depression to anger, to concerns about finances. Remember, cancer goes well beyond just the patient and affects friends, family, coworkers and other acquaintances. Fact is cancer can make you feel pretty low! Although no cancer journey is the same, we can all benefit from support, and sometimes it takes a village. Here are some ways to reach out and support others fighting cancer.

Meals – One of the first things I think of when I want to help support a cancer patient or a family going through a major life event is organizing meals. It’s a nice way to make life easier when times get tough. Meals don’t have to be home-cooked; restaurant delivery, snacks and gift cards work too.

A 5k race to raise funds for Erin’s sister Amy

Financial Support – Let’s be real, cancer is expensive! Cancer means lots of medical bills and lost time at work. A quick and simple method to raise funds for someone with cancer is to use a crowd-funding platform. There are many to choose from and they only take a few minutes to set up. Crowd funding is a great way to tell your story and rally the troops. Financial support goes a long way, even if you don’t think you need it now, you might need it later and if you don’t, you can always pay it forward.

Emotional Support – People with cancer may feel stressed and overwhelmed. Asking for help is not easy for everyone, REACH OUT! Volunteer to decorate for the holidays, grocery shop, babysit kids, start a ride sharing program to get your friend/loved on to their appointments or simply schedule time to sit and visit. Believe it or not the simple gift of TIME means a whole lot!

Erin with her cancer bag and her husband

Another way to help someone cope with cancer is to offer encouragement. Encouraging a loved one to join a support group and to stay active can provide an emotional boost. Simple notes and cards of encouragement give a personal touch. Gift baskets, blankets, journals and books can bring comfort. A little joy and laughter provides a distraction from pain and anxiety about the future. As you can see, a little positivity goes a long way.

Patient Advocate – Advocacy is not for everyone but I’m sure we can all agree navigating insurance and the medical field can be a nightmare! Having someone on your side that acts as a patient advocate is essential. This person helps coordinate care, schedule appointments, speak with insurance companies, researches treatment options and can explain complex medical diagnoses. Whether this is a loved one, friend or professional with knowledge of the healthcare system having extra support helps the cancer patient feel empowered and reduces feelings of isolation.

You don’t have to have all the right answers or advice but being there and reaching out makes a difference. Everyone, especially cancer patients want to feel loved and cared for. So, no matter what you choose to give, know that your TIME is appreciated.

If you are a cancer patient or a caregiver, it’s okay to ask for help. We already know that cancer gave you super powers but believe me, having support makes those bad days manageable.

Mostly, cancer takes a village.

Erin is a Cervivor diagnosed in 2018. She was also a cancer caregiver to her sister who passed away in 2014 from neuroendocrine gastric carcinoma. Erin works in healthcare and is passionate about prevention and education. In her free time she enjoys art, running, spending time with her family and caring for her many farm animals. Learn more about Erin by reading her Cervivor story.

Caregivers Are Priceless

Celebrated every November, National Family Caregivers Month, is an opportunity to honor the caregivers in our lives whether they are family or chosen family.

Hear from the Cervivor community as they share beautiful messages of love and appreciation for the people and other resources that have given them strength, support, and kindness.

Kyana

My caregiver/fiancé. He has been there for me through so many different situations. We’ve had bumps in the road but love prevails. He fed me, bathed me, clothed me when I was too weak and gives hugs all the time. Most of all, he spoke life into me by encouraging and motivating me every single day.

Tammy

My husband has been amazing through this whole thing. Spoils me rotten with anything I need, comes with me to all of my appointments, asks questions I wouldn’t even think to ask, has voluntarily taken over taxi duty for our two teenagers, and he bought me a fancy bidet toilet seat as a “Let’s kick cancer’s ass” gift. What more can I ask for??? So incredibly grateful for him.

Selena

“Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible.” ~ Tia Walker

Having been on both sides – patient vs caregiver, I’ve found I prefer to give as receiving can be difficult at times. Being overwhelmed with generosity can feel difficult to live up to.

Victoria

My hubby has been by my side every minute of every appointment, side effect, bad day, etc. This was him holding my hand while waiting for a brachy appointment. He’s my rock. My comforter. My best friend. And, my caregiver. I know it’s not easy for him (I myself have been a caregiver to my dad and my mom), and it’s definitely not easy for him to watch the person he vowed to love forever to be in pain. To suffer. To possibly face a future without them.

Karen

This is my baby girl. When I got diagnosed with stage 3B cervical cancer four years ago, she sold her home, packed her five children up and moved in with me. I’ve also had to have a surgery due to cancer in my lung and because the radiation had deteriorated my bones from my belly button down, I had a total hip and knee replacement.

Multiple strokes kept me in the hospital but she’s been by my side from the day that I heard, ‘you have cancer’. We get on each other’s nerves once in awhile but that’s what mothers and daughters do and at the end of the day I know she’s got my back.

She is also an amazing caregiver to her five children; a set of six year old twin girls, her seven year old boy, an 11 year old son with Asperger’s and ADHD, who was born with no rectum and had a colostomy bag for quite a few years, and a soon-to-be 13 year old daughter. I always say I’m very blessed and our house is always filled with love.

Patti

My caregiver. My support. My love.

He held my hand throughout the journey and he hasn’t let go.

Lisa

My hubby was always a bit of a grumpy guy but this last year he has turned into a big old softy. The day after my radical hysterectomy he, without being asked, brushed my hair for the first time ever. He works 12 hours from our home and took off a month after surgery to look after me.

This November, Cervivor has partnered with Caregiver Action Network for their national campaign #CaregiverAnd. It’s an opportunity to celebrate the identities and passions that enrich your life. Check out Caregiver Action Network’s Family Caregiver Toolbox. It’s full of great resources for every topic!