healthcare providers

Being a Support within the Cancer Community

It takes a village.

When someone you care about is dealing with cancer it is hard to know what to say or do. Cancer brings on all sorts of emotions and stressors from depression to anger, to concerns about finances. Remember, cancer goes well beyond just the patient and affects friends, family, coworkers and other acquaintances. Fact is cancer can make you feel pretty low! Although no cancer journey is the same, we can all benefit from support, and sometimes it takes a village. Here are some ways to reach out and support others fighting cancer.

Meals – One of the first things I think of when I want to help support a cancer patient or a family going through a major life event is organizing meals. It’s a nice way to make life easier when times get tough. Meals don’t have to be home-cooked; restaurant delivery, snacks and gift cards work too.

A 5k race to raise funds for Erin’s sister Amy

Financial Support – Let’s be real, cancer is expensive! Cancer means lots of medical bills and lost time at work. A quick and simple method to raise funds for someone with cancer is to use a crowd-funding platform. There are many to choose from and they only take a few minutes to set up. Crowd funding is a great way to tell your story and rally the troops. Financial support goes a long way, even if you don’t think you need it now, you might need it later and if you don’t, you can always pay it forward.

Emotional Support – People with cancer may feel stressed and overwhelmed. Asking for help is not easy for everyone, REACH OUT! Volunteer to decorate for the holidays, grocery shop, babysit kids, start a ride sharing program to get your friend/loved on to their appointments or simply schedule time to sit and visit. Believe it or not the simple gift of TIME means a whole lot!

Erin with her cancer bag and her husband

Another way to help someone cope with cancer is to offer encouragement. Encouraging a loved one to join a support group and to stay active can provide an emotional boost. Simple notes and cards of encouragement give a personal touch. Gift baskets, blankets, journals and books can bring comfort. A little joy and laughter provides a distraction from pain and anxiety about the future. As you can see, a little positivity goes a long way.

Patient Advocate – Advocacy is not for everyone but I’m sure we can all agree navigating insurance and the medical field can be a nightmare! Having someone on your side that acts as a patient advocate is essential. This person helps coordinate care, schedule appointments, speak with insurance companies, researches treatment options and can explain complex medical diagnoses. Whether this is a loved one, friend or professional with knowledge of the healthcare system having extra support helps the cancer patient feel empowered and reduces feelings of isolation.

You don’t have to have all the right answers or advice but being there and reaching out makes a difference. Everyone, especially cancer patients want to feel loved and cared for. So, no matter what you choose to give, know that your TIME is appreciated.

If you are a cancer patient or a caregiver, it’s okay to ask for help. We already know that cancer gave you super powers but believe me, having support makes those bad days manageable.

Mostly, cancer takes a village.

Erin is a Cervivor diagnosed in 2018. She was also a cancer caregiver to her sister who passed away in 2014 from neuroendocrine gastric carcinoma. Erin works in healthcare and is passionate about prevention and education. In her free time she enjoys art, running, spending time with her family and caring for her many farm animals. Learn more about Erin by reading her Cervivor story.

Our Supporting Cast

There are so many healthcare members that make up a cancer patient’s medical team before, during and after treatment. You want an oncologist who is caring, a radiation team who’ll listen to your concerns and a chemotherapy PA who helps you navigate your side effects successfully. You may see these people more than your own family so you really want successful partnerships. You literally are putting your life in their hands and these people become your ‘Dream Team’.But what about those other everyday team members you see all too frequently during treatment. The unsung hero who’s name you may not always remember (thank you chemo fog) but they leave a lasting impression because they took the time to hear you and you connected with them

Like the receptionist at your infusion center who always has a smile and a kind hello for you. Maybe it’s the phlebotomist who knows your veins like the back of her own hand. Or the hospital nurse who gives you some of her lavender essential oil because it’s your third stay in the past two months. Or how about the diagnostic technician who looks just like Dr. McDreamy from Grey’s Anatomy and it makes you blush. Every time.

These people become the extras in your own Lifetime movie. You talk about their fishing trip to a place you both know well, or you bond over the difficulty raising a tween. These connections and conversations helped me to forget for a moment why I was in that hospital bed or infusion center. These interactions made me feel ‘normal’ when everything else in my life was completely out of control. Just wanting things to be ‘normal’ is often what I craved the most.

One of my favorite moments was at my final chemotherapy session. It was a very long eight hour infusion, and I may have been the only patient left in the infusion center. I noticed there wasn’t a bell to ring like I saw so many patients do on social media. It seemed so anticlimactic — no drumroll or dancing unicorns? So I sat there holding my husband’s hand and we both got a bit teary.

Suddenly I had a kind of out-of-body experience and I started singing Semisonic’s Closing Time, and very badly I might add. “Closing time you don’t have to go home…” And then from across the room I hear my nurse belt out, “but ya can’t stay here.”  We all laughed through our tears and hugs were shared.

I recall this memory when I need a reminder that the world is filled with kindness, even in our darkest moments and that there are amazing nurses, doctors, healthcare providers that give 110% to all their patients. These are my heroes.

Carol Lacey is our Lead Cervivor Ambassador and has been advocating on behalf of Cervivor since 2016. Watch Carol share her story on CervivorTV.