How my story begins: I was around 23 or 24 when the HPV vaccine came out. I remember having a conversation with my gyn about it back then, but as a young, invincible 20 something year old woman, I didn't pay as much attention to my doctor as I should have. I did no research and I asked no questions then opted to not get vaccinated because insurance would not cover it. The following year I had an abnormal pap smear. I had a colposcopy, then a leep. I am ashamed to admit I don't' even know what my biopsy results were from those tests. Again, I asked no questions, I just made sure to stick to the follow up schedule my gyn said I needed to and honestly never gave it another thought. I had no idea what HPV was.
Fast forward to my early thirties, I was a busy mom to a 4 year old boy and started to put myself last. I stopped going to my annual wellness appointments and had a 5 year lapse in any of my preventative appointments. My significant other and I had decided we wanted to grow our family and give our son a sibling so I made myself an appointment with my regular doctor and my gyn. Both drs said all looked great and gave me the green light to try for a baby. When my pap smear came back a few weeks later I got a call from the nurse. She needed to schedule me for a biopsy because my pap was abnormal. I panicked but the nurse assured me this type of thing happens all the time. When I had my colposcopy my gyn again assured me that this is so common and that I shouldn't worry too much. A week later I got the call it was pre-cancer cells and my gyn wanted to consult a gyn oncologist. For the first time I thought wow, this is serious. The oncologist recommended a leep procedure and shortly after I had that done I got the call. Stage 1 invasive endocervical adenocarcinoma.
Life before my diagnosis: I was a stay at home mom with a very active 4 year old son. My significant other and I had just decided we wanted to grow our family.
How I felt after diagnosis: I felt alone, isolated and scared. I had no idea if I would live to see my son grow up and I mourned hard the loss of my fertility. It took months to not breakdown every time I saw a baby or pregnant woman.
Telling my family and friends: My partner is as amazing as they come. He has supported me through every step of my long journey. My family was very helpful, but we never really talked about how it made them feel and vice versa. I was ashamed of having a HPV related cancer, so it remained mostly a secret for quite a long time.
My treatment: I had an open radical hysterectomy with 5 lymph nodes removed.
How I felt after treatment: Physically I was amazing. I got the healthiest I've ever been leading up to surgery, so my recovery was quite easy. Mentally, I was breaking. It took a while for me to settle into my new normal. Your body KNOWS something is missing and it took time to adjust to some things.
What was most difficult for me: Being ashamed of having a HPV related cancer and being terrified of a recurrence. Being angry with myself for not doing research about my own health or asking questions that maybe could have prevented my situation.
What I did to help myself: I joined a local young adult cancer support group and met another young woman through there that introduced me to Cervivor. From there it was like a whole new world opened up. I found my tribe through Cervivor and got the courage from them to start sharing my story. With sharing my story came my strength. Once I realized I wasn't alone and what I felt was normal, I got myself into therapy. I was diagnosed with PTSD and have worked hard in therapy to learn coping strategies to manage life after cancer.
My life after cancer: Life after cancer is day by day.
Where I am today: Today I am thriving. I make sure to make myself and my health a top priority
What I want other women to know: You are not alone.
How I will try to help others: Spread awareness that cervical cancer is preventable and treatable. Make sure I encourage people to make their health a priority, advocate for yourself, ask questions. Share my knowledge of HPV and how it doesn't just affect women.