How my story begins: Towards the end of 2021, I saw my gynecologist because I thought I was becoming perimenopausal. I had night sweats and difficulty sleeping. She did some labs and prescribed a low-dose Estradiol patch.
Around March 2022, I started bleeding during any intimate stimulation or activity. This was significant to me right away because I didn’t have a uterus. I only had a cervix and ovaries remaining. My uterus was removed six years ago due to adenomyosis.
My gynecologist did an exam and sent me for a wand ultrasound. She advised I had a “friable” cervix, but the ultrasound didn’t find anything, so she thought it was some inflammation that could be resolved with antibiotics. The antibiotics didn’t change anything, and I didn’t see my doctor again until I was due for my pap in August.
The pap made me bleed heavily afterwards. She again said my cervix looked very friable, but the results came back showing severe inflammation and negative for cancer.
In September, a biopsy was performed, and the gynecologist did the usual panel of tests to rule out other possibilities. I decided to stop using the Estradiol that month, even though my gyno didn’t think it was contributing to my issues. At the end of September, she advised all other tests were negative and we were just pending biopsy results. She felt confident it wasn’t going to be cancer but said my cervix was very friable and we should discuss surgery to remove it, because it wasn’t healing.
However, in October, she called to tell me the results showed adenocarcinoma. I was referred to a cancer institute locally and got in the next morning. The gynecological oncologist did a biopsy during that appointment and ordered tests. She said she could see and feel the tumor and it was at least 2 cm.
Just over two weeks later on October 21, my partner and I sat in my oncologist’s office to learn that they were diagnosing me at stage 1B3 upon initial reviews of my results. (The tumor was just over 4 cm and had not spread to my lymph nodes). After further review later, they adjusted my stage to 2B. (Had broken through to lining.)
Life before my diagnosis: I was elbow deep in my career as a Talent Partner and living with my favorite person. We bought a house at the start of the pandemic, and were relieved to have a home that brought us joy and comfort.
How I felt after diagnosis: Stunned. After the initial phone call, I thought it was an early detection and that they could probably remove part or all my cervix to resolve it. I didn’t realize how serious it could be yet. My pap was negative. I got one every single year and it was clear every time, so I didn’t think it could be that far advanced.
Once I saw the oncologist, it became quickly obvious this was more serious than I thought and it meant removing the cervix wasn’t going to be the first treatment option. I felt a wide range of emotions: anger, sadness, frustration.
Telling my family and friends: I have been very open from the beginning with sharing to my family and friends. It’s hard to know how much to share sometimes, when to share it, and to figure out the best words to use to share something that can be really complicated to understand.
It was hardest telling those closest to me who are most impacted by it. I have grown children and telling each of them carried a different weight. I have shared about it on my social media because I know educating others can save someone else from this experience.
My treatment: In November 2022, I had robotic-assisted surgery first to remove scar tissue, my ovaries (one of them was suspicious on the PET scan) and to create an apron under my bowels using my existing omental flap. This apron would lift them away from my cervix (they were sitting directly against it) to better protect them from spread and from radiation.
I had a lot of issues with healing, as I was allergic to the Dermabond used to close my five incisions. It was removed a week later but the incisions didn’t heal fast or well.
I started external radiation mid-December and received a total of 25 extractions spread out over six weeks due to holidays. I also had five total Cisplatin chemotherapy treatments on Thursdays concurrent with radiation, except for one week when I needed more time to heal. My last day to receive external radiation and chemo was January 19, 2023.
I had a hard time with chemo, experiencing a myriad of side effects: vertigo, diarrhea (which could also have been from radiation), ears ringing and sensitivity, loss of voice after each round of chemo, reflux and indigestion, neuropathy in my feet, fatigue, mouth sores, brain fog, etc. Chemo side effects were especially brutal on a couple days of each week for me. Usually day five and six, and then I had go back on day seven for another infusion, right as I started feeling better.
I went into the hospital on January 30 to begin internal radiation via interstitial brachytherapy. The device was implanted in the OR that morning and I had one treatment that day, and then two treatments a day over the next two days for a total of five treatments.
They removed the device the evening of February 1 and kept me overnight for observation. While in the hospital, I could not get up from a laying position for the full stay. I also needed two blood transfusions and a shot to generate white blood cells to bring my levels up while inpatient.
It was a better experience than I expected because of how well they did with managing my pain during my stay. I had a lot of fear around this specific treatment, as I had read a lot about it beforehand.
How I felt after treatment: In the first few months after treatment, I was exhausted. Sore. Stiff. My ears were still ringing, and my esophagus was still inflamed. I still had neuropathy in my feet. My bowels and bladder didn’t act the way they did before treatment and needed focused attention. I also had pelvic floor physical therapy to assist with the stiffness and pain in my hips that had developed, as well as internal side effects of radiation.
With each month that passes post-treatment, my side effects evolve. My energy has improved, and my mental clarity returned. I’m able to take walks and do some exercise. I’m working full-time. My digestive system and bladder were not functioning “normally” after treatment, but I have seen specialists and had tests run to identify the specific issues and get on medications that have improved a lot of these side effects.
I struggled with guilt and anger over keeping my cervix when my uterus was removed. It was an option for me because the doctor and I discussed that I had a healthy cervix and by keeping it, I could reduce recovery time by weeks. I now suffer the impact of that decision and it weighed heavy on me.
What was most difficult for me: I went through surgical menopause and that was rough. I couldn’t have estrogen at first and the cold and hot flashes were terrible. I didn’t even know you could get cold flashes from menopause. My tumor tested sensitive to estrogen, so I didn’t have any hormone support at first, but my oncologist determined I could have estradiol cream at a low dose for a while to support internal healing and alleviate some of the hormonal side effects.
Also, after treatment ended, my next scan was scheduled three months out to give the radiation time to kill the tumor. However, at my one-month check-up, my oncologist saw an area of concern when she looked at my cervix. It appeared as if it was unchanged. I was scheduled for a biopsy under anesthesia the following week, and then I had a PET scan and MRI the week after the biopsy. Thankfully the results from the biopsy and scans were better than expected, and my doc was relieved with the amount of cell death reflected in the results. However, my doc had already referred me to MD Anderson as a precautionary in case the cells indicated resistance to treatment.
Before seeing the MD Anderson oncologist, my doctor was discussing the option of removing my cervix that month. She also explained to me and my partner that I may need a total pelvic exenteration if some of my tumor cells indicate resistance to the treatment. Facing another potential surgery, and especially such a life-changing surgery, was hard to process.
I’m very thankful she consulted with colleagues and referred us for a second opinion to be sure of what was the next best step for me, which was that they collectively agreed we should give the treatment more time to work before making decisions about surgery. They had conducted another biopsy at MD Anderson also and confirmed cell death was happening, even if it didn’t look like it was upon initial inspection.
That experience was especially stressful, as we expected more time for me to heal after treatment ended before the next round of tests and especially to have more biopsies.
What I did to help myself: I bought T-shirts with inspirational messages (such as "The only way out is through” and “Recovery is not linear”) and wore them on chemo day for encouragement.
I enjoyed putting acrylic paint to canvas before the diagnosis. I found solace in painting whenever I felt capable, during and after treatment.
I have an amazing husband who gives me space to vent my feelings and make me smile, and I have other people in my life, such as friends and family, who have also provided support.
I joined a local support group called Sisterhood of Survivors and Cervivor, I was seeking others who understood my experiences, could provide resources, and a community who hear me and see me and know what I’ve gone through.
I sought out a therapist to help me cope with the PTSD of both the treatment experience and the pelvic floor physical therapy, new side effects that required emotional acceptance, and getting support to learn how to move past the mindset of living from one appointment to the next and not beyond it.
My life after cancer: I’m focused on continued healing, gaining strength and stamina. I am working and painting again. I am managing side effects from treatment and going to my doctor every 3 months for checkups. I am looking ahead to the future and trying to plan activities beyond my doctor’s appointments and trying to bring awareness to the importance of cervical exams and HPV vaccines.
Where I am today: I’m almost one-year post-treatment. At both my three-month and six-month post-treatment appointments, my scans showed inflammation at my cervix but no evidence of tumor or spread. My doctor declared me in remission at my six-month appointment. I only had a physical exam at my nine-month appointment, but there was no evidence of concern at that exam and no symptoms that would indicate cancer.
I lost my father this past year. It’s been an incredibly hard past year and a half. But I’m focusing on how I feel today and how I can help myself heal, physically and emotionally. I make sure to recognize and appreciate my improvements, no matter how small. I try to appreciate what my body does for me instead of being angry about what it’s not doing. I’m trying to live in my moments but also plan for future experiences. Everything looks different to me on the other side of cancer. Grief and anger deserve space, too, but I work to include them and not allow them to dominate, and I’m trying to learn from those feelings.
What I want other women to know: Advocating for yourself is critical to getting through this to the other side. No matter what stage you are in, what treatment you did or didn’t have, your story and your experience matters. Trust your instincts and find your voice. Show up for all the hard appointments.
You need community. Join Cervivor. Find your local support group. If you aren’t comfortable with that, find a therapist. Cancer treatment is traumatic.
How I will try to help others: By continuing to share my story and answer questions openly. I will also support others who need encouragement or information. Community and validation make all the difference.