Erica

Location: New York

Cancerversary: January 2023

Age at diagnosis: 34

Diagnosis: Cervical cancer (unspecified)

Stage of cancer: III

How my story begins: In February 2021, I started experiencing pain during intercourse and abnormal bleeding, even before and after my periods. In 2022, I began passing large blood clots – the second one was the size of my hand. I knew something was wrong. Because I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), the doctors suggested that might be the cause.

Fast forward to March 2022: I underwent imaging and waited months for the results. When they finally came in, I was referred for a biopsy, which confirmed I had cervical cancer associated with HPV. In June, I received my diagnosis at Montefiore GYN-Oncology, where it was 100% confirmed, and we came up with a treatment plan for my cancer.

Life before my diagnosis: I was probably busy as always, being a mom of two children. My daughter giving birth to my first grandson, and life just acting like a wildcard since 2020.

How I felt after diagnosis: After being diagnosed, I felt a wave of emotions. From anger at myself for waiting too long to crying and thinking this was it – a death wish I made myself! I was alone when I received the bad news from the doctor who did my biopsy. I was honestly scared and wasn't sure what was going to happen. How far along was I? There were so many thoughts racing through my head. I felt I was going to pass out.

Telling my family and friends: The first person I shared my diagnosis with was my brother Matthew. As I called him, I felt numb, scared, and alone. After that call, I told my spouse, parents, and the rest of my siblings. When I called my best friend, I heard the sadness and worry in her voice. We both cried, but I promised her I wouldn't die.

My treatment: My treatment plan was 25 external radiation, 4 chemotherapy once a week, and 4 brachytherapy (internal radiation).

How I felt after treatment: After treatment I felt relieved. I was proud of myself for going through the most toughest challenge ever. I was ready to give up multiple times.

What was most difficult for me: The most difficult for me was the side effects of the treatments. The amount of nausea, upset stomach, and diarrhea I went through was insane. I vomited at the first treatment. I was so dehydrated and I couldn't eat anything. The exhaustion was nothing in comparison.

What I did to help myself: What helped me was thinking about living for myself and my children and, now, my newborn grandson. I wanted to give up on many counts. But my mom, sister-in-law, and best friend kept telling me not to, no matter how hard it got. Thank God I didn’t.

My life after cancer: Life after treatment is a bliss, but I do have trouble accepting my new normal. There are many challenges I’ve faced since cancer, which can take me to a dark place. There are also a lot of the things I used to do before cancer that I can't do now, or at least not the way I did before.

Where I am today: Today, I am two years out of treatment and have been NED (in remission) since January 2023. Technically, my PET scan on December 12, 2022, showed that I was clear after three months of treatment.

At times, I struggle with the pain I endured from radiation mainly. I have a lot of lower back pain where I have arthritis, and my sacroiliac joint and disc are damaged too. Chemo was given directly through an IV into my hands, and now I deal with pain in both hands plus muscle and nerve damage. But I am alive and grateful!

What I want other women to know: It's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to cry and scream if you want. Cancer is a big bully and we have to stand up tall and fight back. We women are stronger than we know and think. But you are not alone! No one should go through this journey alone. Open up and speak up!

How I will try to help others: At my radiation center, I speak to new cancer patients going through the same experience I had. I express to them that life isn't over yet and they should continue fighting and stay positive as much as possible. I also supported fellow cervical cancer patients going through treatment alone, which I experienced myself.

Any additional information you'd like to share: Yes, I would love to speak on behalf of many women that struggle with their sex life after treatment. So many are shy and closed up about it. We need to express how our sex drives aren't all the same after treatment and cancer. Many aren't mothers or wives and it's okay to talk and be mindful.