How my story begins: Due to my husband and I deciding to have children, I stopped my birth control in January 2021. Upon stopping my birth control, I began noticing light spotting that wouldn’t fully go away, even after a couple of weeks. Everyone assured me that my body was just settling from stopping birth control after having been on the pill for 15+ years.
I went to a gynecologist to get a well woman check to make sure I was healthy for a baby. This included a Pap test, which I did every 2-3 years. I explained my spotting to my gynecologist and she didn’t show too much concern due to having stopped the pill recently.
A week later my pap results returned abnormal so my gynecologist requested I do a colposcopy. I returned and did the colposcopy and did not think too much of it.
Five days later, on March 29, 2021, my doctor called me early in the morning and notified me that my colposcopy showed cervical cancer.
Life before my diagnosis: I was working as a supervisor at my full time job, which I had been promoted to about a year before. I married and bought a house nine months before my diagnosis. I was just at the beginning stages of getting into the full groove of adulthood and getting to, what I considered to be, a really good place in life. My husband and I had even decided to finally start to try to have a baby in 2021.
How I felt after diagnosis: When my doctor told me I had cervical cancer, I felt like I entered a tunnel. My mind went blank and I cried. I asked her what treatment I would need, she stated she wasn’t certain as I would need to see an oncologist to determine the best treatment. I cried a lot the first couple days after diagnosis. I was terrified. Was I in a position that I needed to fear dying? How will my life change? Will I be able to have children? I had so many questions and I wasn’t sure I wanted the answers to any of them.
Telling my family and friends: I went to my husband immediately after the call with my doctor and cried. He wasn’t sure how to take it. He comforted me as much as he could and helped me set up an appointment with an oncologist ASAP.
I told my family over the phone the first day as well. My family was in disbelief. They were insistent that it’s not as bad as my gynecologist made it sound or it was a different issue completely. I held off on telling the rest of my family and friends for a couple of weeks until I had more information and I knew what was happening. They were all very supportive and definitely let me know they were there if I needed them.
My treatment: I had appointments with three medical oncologists to make sure I was comfortable with the doctor treating me, as well as to get their opinion on my situation and the best treatment option. I had my ovaries transposed prior to treatment and my treatment was six rounds of chemotherapy, 25 external radiation treatments and five brachytherapy.
How I felt after treatment: The first thing I felt was relief. I was so proud of myself for making it through it with as much mental and emotional strength as I managed to have. I was also just so grateful that it was over.
I was VERY tired when treatment ended. I didn’t leave my couch or bed much for about a week. I was nauseated and slept a lot. During the second week, I began gaining a little energy back and was able to get up and do small things around the house. In subsequent weeks, I was able to do more and more and slowly work to get back to a normal life.
What was most difficult for me: The main thing that was most difficult for me was the lack of energy. I am normally an active person. I run, workout, stay busy around the house. During treatment and for a while afterwards I was completely unable to do any of that. Even walking around one block was difficult, if not impossible depending on the day. I felt like my identity and hobbies had been taken from me.
Mentally and emotionally, it was very hard to face that I won’t be able to ever carry my own child. At what I felt was the prime of my life, my life plan was forced to change.
What I did to help myself: When my energy was low, which was most of the time, I did my best to focus on diet. I worked to eat as many calories and as much protein as I could tolerate. I also focused on hydration and strived to drink 100oz of water a day. My energy was still extremely low, but I could tell the difference between days when I focused on diet and hydration and the days that I didn’t.
I have worked as much as I can to remain positive and accept that even if life isn’t exactly as I planned, I still have a great life to live. I relied on my husband a lot and let him know when I was feeling down so he knew to step in and cheer me up. I also used Facebook to share my journey with my family and friends. They would always post very positive words of encouragement and having a bit of a cheering squad helped me to stay positive.
Where I am today: I am about a month post treatment. I am still working on recovering fully from treatment but I’ve made some good strides. My hearing is slightly affected in one ear, which is likely due to my chemotherapy drug, Cisplatin. It has been improving as time passes. I also have a couple very tender places on my arms from all of the IVs inserted in them, though they are healing. My appetite is still very hit and miss, but it has been improving. I have been very lucky to have held onto my weight throughout treatment.
I am still working towards feeling well enough to get back to my job. I am hoping I will be there in the next couple of weeks. I am generally in a good place mentally. There are some days that I think about what I went through and I struggle with it, but I remind myself of how strong I was to push through it and I continue to strive to be positive.
What I want other women to know: If you are facing cancer treatment of any kind, know that you are strong and you can do this. Stay positive and find a good person to support you for when you are feeling down, whether it’s a friend, a few friends, a family member or spouse.
Also, if your life plan is completely altered as mine was, it is okay to mourn the life plan that you lost - but do not mourn so much that you miss out on the new version of life that you will be living. It may not be what you pictured, but it will be beautiful.
How I will try to help others: As I am healing, I am researching ways I can become an advocate. Until I join any groups officially, I have been advocating for friends and families to take care of their health. I encourage people to get that medical test they have been putting off, stay on top of screenings that are available to them and take care of their body as much as they can - it is the only one we get! I am also joining a few cancer walks in the future that will help to raise money for the cancer hospital where I was treated.