How my story begins: It all started in 2017 when I was at work and all of a sudden I had to go to the bathroom. I started bleeding like crazy. Big blood clots were coming out of me. So I rushed to the hospital. I saw a doctor in North Central, we spoke for a little bit and he prescribed me the mini pill. He said the reason for the bleeding was because I was getting early menopause and I believed him. So for a whole year I took those pills but the bleeding never stopped.
When the year was over I had to go to the hospital again to refill my prescription. I was told that the doctor that I had seen before was not there any more so I had to see someone else. I waited in the room and the doctor came in and we started talking and he asked me if the other doctor had preformed a pap test. I told him no. He said that it would be a good idea to get one at that time so I said yes. He didn't even get to give me the pap because he saw something in my vagina and he immediately referred me to an oncologist. I met the oncologist and that was when he told me that he thought that I had cancer but he didn't know what stage so he would have to do a biopsy and some other tests. It ended up being that I had a 4cm tumor.
Life before my diagnosis: I am a mother of two lovely girls. I was working for a car dealership practically all day, I used to love going out with my family to the movies and to restaurants. Just enjoying life.
How I felt after diagnosis: I felt like my world had come to an end when I heard the diagnoses. At first I thought of my children and what would happen to them if I die. Then I was nervous about what I would have to go through to get rid of the 4cm tumor that I had hanging off near my cervix.
Telling my family and friends: The day I had to tell my children what was really going on with me. I lost all words and my children's reactions were heartbreaking. They were worried that I was going to die and I was just not telling them the truth.
My treatment: My treatment was suppose to be chemo and radiation but my immune system was so bad that I didn't even get the chemo. I also had to have blood transfusions and immune boosting shots regularly.
How I felt after treatment: The treatment was not the worst of it - the side effects were the killer for me. I would lay there in pain crying and screaming from the pain that I would feel in my rear end. It felt like glass was cutting me after I would have a bowel movement. My back was always hurting me and my cervix was always killing me. I was so drugged up it wasn't funny and the medicine was only dulling the pain a little. I wasn't cooking nor would I walk in the street because I was so weak. I would get out of breath so easily; when I walked I felt like someone was holding on to my legs. Climbing stairs was even worse. I wasn't living my life normally.
What was most difficult for me: Waking up every morning feeling worse than before and wondering when it was all going to end. Looking at my children's faces and knowing that they were worried about how I was doing was most difficult.
What I did to help myself: I prayed to God constantly for the strength to get through this. I started eating vegetables and drinking smoothies to better my health because I had lost so much weight. I had went down to 98 pounds.
My life after cancer: I never went back to work because when I finally thought I was getting better it ended up being that I got a fistula where I had received the radiation. So now I have an ileostomy because I had a hole in the wall of my vagina and it went through to my bladder.
Where I am today: I am doing better health wise. I've gained weight. I have mixed emotions. I am depressed because sex for me with my husband is not good. It often hurts so I hardly do anything. I feel sorry for him. I also am embarrassed about my stomach because of the ileostomy bag. I don't want anyone to see it. But at the same time I know that I am blessed because I am still alive and I am able to see my children grow up.
What I want other women to know: Doctors can be lazy sometimes. If you feel that they are not doing right by you, say something. Don't do what I did. I stayed quiet because I thought that he was the doctor and he knew what he was talking about. I always say thank God for the second doctor that said for me to get the pap test. I know it was too late because I had the huge tumor but I guess it could have been worse.
How I will try to help others: I tell my experience to many people so maybe it will help them. Plus I want to volunteer at Montefiore Medical Center in the childrens section but that was when Covid started so I was not able to do it. But I'm not giving up and I'll do it one day. I want to give back by helping people in some way.