How my story begins: I had an abnormal pap result in Dec 2016, and by March I was bleeding consistently for months. I went back to the doctor where they told me it was normal and my hormones were changing, as they do as you get older. I did several Paps over the course of 3 months - all of which were coming back as BV (bacterial vaginosis) so they would treat me with an antibiotic and send me on my way. This repeated itself for months. In May 2017, I got engaged and remember that on a beach trip back then that I had begun to experience abdominal pain. I made an appointment for the following Monday but was told they could not conduct a Pap due to the bleeding - as the results would come back abnormal. This continued into June when I finally asked the doctor for something else because things just weren't right and they prescribed me progesterone to stop the bleeding. By the end of June, my prescription was up and I was passing quarter dollar sized blood clots and my hormones were causing massive mood swings. So again, I reached out to my doctor who was on maternity leave. The stand in physician took one look at my file and immediately sent me to a specialist who within 5 minutes was able to find an eraser-sized lesion on my cervix and sent me to Oncology (this occurred on a Wednesday). This following Monday I met with Oncology and at that time, the lesion had gone from the size of an eraser to a 4.5 cm tumor that was bleeding pretty heavily. The doctor informed me that she would send off my results to pathology to confirm a diagnosis but "that she does this every day and knows for a fact it is Cervical Cancer but needs to wait for an actual diagnosis." She scheduled me for a colposcopy to be done that Friday. By Wednesday morning, I was in excruciating pain and was filling my shower floor with massive blood clots during my shower, so I was advised by my family to call the doctor. The doctor had me rush to the Emergency Room on a direct admit and they sent me straight to the Oncology ward. Once on the floor, they packed my cervix and began testing, to confirm that I was 1b2 adenocarcinoma and I was bleeding out. Between my admittance on Wednesday my hemoglobin was a 13.2 and Friday during my PET scan, my hemoglobin was a 3.2 and I needed blood transfusions to get me through the weekend before we could start my treatment plans.
Life before my diagnosis: I worked full time as a 911 dispatcher, was "team mom" to my stepson's football team, got engaged 2 months before my diagnosis, and was a thriving 26 year old.
How I felt after diagnosis: After the initial diagnosis, I held up pretty well. I went home and started googling Cervical Cancer and treatment options. My husband, on the other hand, was an absolute mess. He couldn't eat or sleep and was terrified since the survival rates for Cervical Cancer didn't look so promising. It wasn't until I was standing at the elevator entrance of the Surgical Oncology wing that I finally hit the ground in tears and just kept pleading with my husband to take me back to the car because I just knew if I walked onto the wing, I wouldn't be going home at the end of it. I was terrified once we arrived and it really didn't get any better after that. Even to this day I'm scared to go to my follow-up and annual check-ups because I just never know what the doctor is going to tell us.
Telling my family and friends: I remember contacting my mom after they decided to send me to Oncology and telling her "I'm fine, this is just as a precaution to do a deeper procedure and stop it from growing." We were all bracing for impact but we didn't know how serious it was. My parents live 4 hours away from me so I was waiting on the right time to drive up and tell them in person once I had the full scoop on the stage and everything. What I didn't realize was that things were progressing so quickly that I wouldn't be able to do that. I ended up having to call them as I was rushing to the ER and tell them that I was being sent to the hospital and I was bleeding out at this point. My mom left her office and drove as fast as she could to the hospital. She would then start a Facebook group message with my whole family to keep them updated literally every time I would get an update from the doctor.
At the time, I worked for the local Sheriff's office as a 911 dispatcher. They were so amazing during the entire process. Someone was always checking on me, making sure I had what I wanted to eat and would even come walk the halls with me. They even fundraised to help with my medical bills. Once I began chemo and radiation, someone was always right by my side either taking me to appointments or coming to sit with me at chemo and playing cards or hanging out with the nurses. They were such a great part of my family and I could never ever express the full amount of gratitude for all they did for me during that time.
My group of friends were amazing throughout the whole process, too. Girls from high school began a Facebook group and rallied for me with t-shirts and fundraisers to try and help raise money for medical bills or regular bills while I was out of work. My best friends from school would come sit with me so my family could have a break from the hospital and one of my friends was even a nurse at the same hospital I was admitted to, so she would walk the halls with me and bring me all sorts of hidden goodies. I would have really been lost without everyone coming together.
My treatment: I ended up having two blood transfusions. They moved my ovaries and stopped the bleeding before being released from the hospital. I then was scheduled for 5 rounds of chemo but only made it through two before becoming far too sick to complete them. I had 30 rounds of radiation, 25 external and 5 internal. I finished all of my treatment off with a hysterectomy just to guarantee that the cancer wouldn't come back in that region.
How I felt after treatment: Honestly, there's days that I still don't know how I feel. Chemo and radiation have lifelong effects so it depends on the day, really. I have chemo brain, a lot, and my anxiety is triple what it was before treatment. Radiation caused a lot of damage to my bladder, caused neuropathy, and other nerve damage so it's really a gamble on how I feel everyday. I am thankfully no longer dealing with the chemo nausea though. That was the worst.
What was most difficult for me: The hysterectomy, without a doubt. While it guaranteed that I wouldn't have cervical cancer again, it still isn't an easy procedure mentally or emotional. I was 27 when I had the surgery with no natural born children, so that was the hardest part to wrap my head around. Now that I'm a couple of years out, I can honestly say that the worst part of the hysterectomy is the menopause that comes after it. I definitely hate that part the most!
What I did to help myself: I googled a lot, joined Cervical Cancer support groups on Facebook, looked up positive affirmations on Pinterest, cried and screamed, then eventually I agreed to speak with a mental health counselor and get it off my chest. Cancer at any stage in life is difficult and I think finally breaking down and seeking professional help was the best decision I could have made. While they can't help you figure out the answer the "why me?" question, they can provide techniques to work through that question and how to cope with the everlasting feelings of Cancer in itself.
My life after cancer: Life after cancer has been...fulfilling while also sometimes difficult. Due to the hysterectomy, I'm in full menopause and that's still the most difficult part. Somedays are fine and other days are an emotional rollercoaster while trying to figure out why it's so darn hot! I can say, we've come leaps and bounds though and I've learned how to work through the symptoms.
Where I am today: Today, I'm living a full life. I have gotten married, built a family, bought a business and will begin working with my husband to help children with all of their supplemental education needs and providing tutoring services to students kindergarten thru twelfth grade. I'll be 30 in May and I'm so excited to hit this milestone in life and see where it takes me.
What I want other women to know: Take your health and your mental health seriously. Often times, women are so caught up running their households and caring for their families that they allow themselves to fall to the side. We as women can't allow that to happen, we have to make the time to put ourselves and our health as priority. Women's health is so important and annual paps are even more important. I understand that a lot of women don't go to the doctor because it's uncomfortable but what's even more uncomfortable is internal radiation or trying to cook dinner with chemo nausea. 10 minutes of being uncomfortable can save your life, literally.
Also, check on your friends and if they aren't your friends, check on them anyways. A lot of women struggle with so many things in life that they never talk about because they feel like a burden. BREAK THAT WALL DOWN! Challenge yourself every week to pick up your phone and call someone you haven't talked to in ages, every day. Call someone different everyday and just talk to them, ask them how they're doing, and lend an ear. If they aren't struggling, cool, celebrate their victories with them...even if it's that their youngest is finally potty trained or that they were able to take a shower while the kids were napping today. We never know what someone is going through, so it's important to do what we can to be a light in their darkness....or in our own.
How I will try to help others: My goal in life is to always be a light to anyone, friend or otherwise. You never know what someone else is going through so to always be kind and lend an ear or a hand where I can is something that I am adamant about.
I bought into my new business to help children and to invest in their education. In the world we live in, I think it's so important to allow our kids to be kids, so my husband and I are working hard to get our learning center up and running to help parents who have kids struggling academically. Once kids are able to feel confident in the classroom again, it's going to be so great to see what they can do in the future! Who knows, maybe one of them will cure cancer!
I tell my story often too, it's funny how I'll get random Facebook messages from girls I haven't talked to you in years wanting to know what my symptoms were or if I think they should call a doctor because of something that's going on with their bodies...my answer is always YES! If its something new or your gut is telling you that it isn't right, call the doctor!