Kim

Cancerversary: February 2020

Age at diagnosis: 49

Diagnosis: Metastatic squamous cell carcinoma

Stage of cancer: III

How my story begins: It started with the occasional pain in my pelvis. The oncologist was telling me it was just scar tissue. For nearly two years I asked about the pain and was told it was normal. Until the back pain started, and then I couldn't pick up my foot when I walked. I went to a chiropractor who said I might have a herniated disc and strongly suggested I go to the ER. The ER doctor was reluctant to do much without trauma but he finally gave in to me. After at CT scan and an MRI, I was told to go back to my oncologist. I had a mass the size of a large lime in my pelvis. It had blocked my ureter, which caused my kidney to swell and it was pushing on my sciatic nerve.

Life before my diagnosis: I had beaten cervical cancer in 2017 and was living my best life. I had learned to appreciate life more because of it. I was also working a stressful job that I absolutely loved. I had reached the point in my life where my children were grown and I could focus on me and doing the things I wanted.

How I felt after diagnosis: I was devastated. I had been telling my oncologist for years that I felt something was wrong. I was scared. My oncologist gave me a 50/50 chance to survive. I was angry. And I was determined.

Telling my family and friends: It was tough telling my adult children about it. My husband was angry at the doctors and scared for me and for us. My family and friends rallied around me stronger than ever.

My treatment: I started with 6 Cisplatin chemo and 28 external radiation. I didn't have brachytherapy because I had already had a hysterectomy the last time. After that, I took a few weeks off to cruise with family and friends and recover. I then did 6 rounds of Carbo/Taxol/Avastin chemo. It took longer than it should have because my body was tired and kept struggling. I had to take longer and longer breaks in between. I needed blood transfusions, platelets and potassium and magnesium and the list goes on and on. But, I finished all of them and was declared in remission on February 5th, 2020.

How I felt after treatment: I felt like I had been given another chance at life. I had side effects from treatment like neuropathy and brain fog, but, hey, I was alive! I had so many grand adventures planned to celebrate being alive. But then the pandemic hit and I was riddled with anxiety because I was still immunocompromised. (Plus, most of the things I had planned were canceled.)

What was most difficult for me: I hated feeling helpless. I really didn't like sitting in my recliner wondering if today was the day my body was going to give up. I was so weak. Plus I was angry. I was angry at the doctors and at the ugliness of it all.

What I did to help myself: I became my own champion. I would not let myself give up. I gave myself little pep talks all the time. I reached out to the online support groups I had found. I finally took the time to rest (I had been working all through treatment and finally cut back my hours).

My life after cancer: It's been amazing. Every day is beautiful. Little things don't bother me nearly as much. It's a struggle some days. I have some issues caused by the radiation and chemo but I'm still in remission. But, all in all, life is good and I take nothing for granted anymore.

Where I am today: I am happy and fairly healthy. I'm expecting my first grandchild soon. (My one regret when I thought I might die was that I never got to be a grandma.) Every day is a beautiful day. And, I find myself less inclined to put up with things that don't make my life good.

What I want other women to know: Advocate for yourself. You know your body better than anyone. If it doesn't feel right it probably isn't. Treatment options are just that, options. Seek a second opinion, look for clinical trials. Stay strong and never give up. Ask for help, even if it's just to bring you a bottle of water because you just can't get up right now. Rest. Listen to your body, it will tell you what it needs. Avoid drama and stress, it will literally kill you because you're weak already.

How I will try to help others: I have reached out to people in my life, in my community and online trying to counsel them, console them, give them a glimmer of hope. I try to inspire them to fight and stay positive. I've worked with our local health departments to acquire funding for free cervical cancer screening for all women, especially low income. Our area of the country has a large population of under-served families. I'm trying to do a small part in helping with the availability of care for women. Next, I'm going to try to partner with organizations in larger cities around us to try to bring some of those resources to the small communities where I live.