Turning 40 – Changing my Mindset

2018 is my year to really feel beautiful inside and out. I’ve been through an emotional ring of crazy for the last few years. I don’t believe in setting a resolution for myself but strive to do a little better each day. With that, I intend to end my self hatred about my appearance. I truly think turning 40 has helped with that. It sounds like nonsense but I believe there is a turning point for people and this is mine.

As 2018 is beginning to unfold I am finally choosing peace. I am determined to work on my emotional well being and am choosing to be and feel beautiful. I say this because for the last 6 years my life has been an uphill effort. I will be a 6 year cervical cancer survivor this year and with that there have been struggles that I have had to overcome. Even though being diagnosed with cancer, you would think one would have the desire to exceed and want to live a better quality of life. I let myself go. With the constant worry and needing to make decisions that would ultimately change mine and my family’s lives forever altered who I was.

I didn’t know how to manage my stress and that led to depression and then anxiety just a year and a half after I was declared cancer free. You see, there seems to be a stigma associated with HPV related cancers and I was ashamed of my diagnosis. I only told a limited amount of people to keep it under the radar and I was more worried about what others would think of me because of the type of cancer I had. I also didn’t want people to feel sorry for me or to be known as just another girl who has cancer.

Turning 40 has helped change my mind set for which I am thankful for because at one time I didn’t think I would reach this number in age. I am beginning to live my life for me and work on my strengths rather than focus on my weaknesses and am slowly ridding my thoughts of worry about what I think others think of me. I am celebrating being me and have stopped second guessing wearing that bright lipstick and/or false eyelashes and am just doing it because it gives me confidence. My healthy lifestyle will be a gradual work in progress.

As with any life journey there are obstacles and this has been mine. The realization of being given one life has finally settled in. So I ask while you’re out in the world being kind to others, make the exception to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel beautiful so we can strive to be the best version of ourselves.

Read more about Kristine’s story:  http://cervivor.org/stories/kristine/

 

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