Survivor Voices

Thriving Amid a Crisis

I’m sitting here reflecting and it’s pretty clear to me: I never thought I would be in a world pandemic crisis in my lifetime. That was something we only learned about in history books, right? We’ve become so cutting edge due to advancements in health care technology like testing, vaccinations and medications. I am proving my naivety as we are not bulletproof from everything and we have several issues at stake.

My life is fairly busy and there’s not a lot of dull moments yet I’m sitting here in isolation to protect my immunocompromised body. This COVID-19 virus has proven to be something that has uprooted my life: some positive, some negative. I work as a dental assistant and office manager for two offices. The dental profession has taken a hit due to an aerosol-borne virus.  It has left my coworkers and myself unemployed for the time being.


It’s a strange feeling when you’re used to managing every aspect of every day and you go to completely nothing. I’m here a week into quarantine I catch myself thinking of all the negatives; the uprooting of lives and the health of friends, family, and people I haven’t even met yet and the financial implications this will hold for all of us. The stress on interpersonal relationships, the increase of depression and anxiety, and the general fear of the unknown for our future. I won’t disregard these negatives. It’s the social worker in me. Oh, did I mention I was a part-time master’s student for social work?

My positive thoughts are that I am thankful for a slow down. I now have more time for homework, I get to exercise, spend time with my dog, etc. But even these thoughts have expanded and deepened so much more. Where I have been able to spend more time on homework, I’ve also signed up for auditing a class through Yale (thanks to a friend), I’ve picked up my camera and snapped some photos of the birds visiting the feeder, I dove into my old iPod and listened to music I haven’t heard for a few years, picked up the exercising, cleaned and organized, written creatively and I’ve caught up with old and new friends through chat/Skype/FaceTime.

Most importantly, I have asked myself multiple times, “How can I help?”  Every morning I’ve read constant panic-filled stories on my local Facebook pages and wish I had the means to help everyone. One in particular stood out. The postal service workers needed hand sanitizer.  I knew I had some small travel bottles so I gathered them up, wrote a small note of encouragement and sealed it up in a Ziploc baggy. My dachshund, Sassy, and I walked up and put it in our lock box. The next day we received a nice thank you note attached to our mail. Later on I found a few more travel bottles and did the same thing. Again, we received a nice thank you note.

I’m constantly praying for cardinals to show up and let me know everything is going to be alright. Last weekend I received a beautiful pair of cardinal earrings in the mail from a First Descents bestie, Bethany, and yesterday I received a packet with beautiful cardinal photos and a handwritten note from my friend, Mark. These are the little things I appreciate so much during this time. It makes me miss hugging my friends and family. I’m clinging onto the feeling of the last hug and kiss I received to make the time alone not feel so lonely. 

I also knew I wanted to volunteer some of my time, while I had it, to my favorite organization, Cervivor. We’ve been hit recently with a tremendous loss to our leadership team. I think it’s safe to say that we all need help during this time. Little tasks end up becoming these wonderful projects and I know what I’m doing means a lot to those who need the help. I would highly consider volunteering virtually with your favorite organization as well! I know this too will pass but it is my hope that our society will become reacquainted with humanity and compassion through this all. 

Morgan is a metastatic cervical cancer survivor, Cervivor Ambassador, and the 2018 Cervivor Champion recipient.  She lives in the rural state of Iowa where she continues to advocate tirelessly.  You can find her networking in various communities for cancer prevention in hopes her story can help others.  She was recognized for her advocacy completed in 2019 with the Iowa American Cancer Society Action Network.  Morgan continues to advocate along side Above and Beyond Cancer, Bras for the Cause – Madison County, the Iowa Cancer Consortium, Iowa Department of Public Health, and Des Moines University.

A Decade

In the United States, Cinco de Mayo has evolved into a commemoration of Mexican culture and heritage and many take this day to drink their favorite Margaritas (no judgement).  For me “El Cinco de Mayo“ or the fifth of May has a different meaning.  It is the day I celebrate being cancer FREE.  This year I am celebrating 10 years. Therefore, in my mind, everyone is celebrating with me.  So have a margarita for me.  

 Wow! 10 years – a whole decade – what a blessing. 

It is amazing to me that I am here.  Ten years ago, I did not see this as a possibility.  I found myself in a battle fighting for my life.   

I had just retired from the NYC Police Department after 20 years as a Police Officer.  I was getting ready to enjoy life with my husband, but unfortunately, I was deviated from my plans.  Three months after I retired, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer stage IIB.  

What do I do now? Am I going to die?  So many questions and so little answers.  I did not know anyone with this cancer.  I did not even know where it came from.  I was blaming myself for not going to see the doctor on a regular basis.  I have not seen my GYN doctor for over three years.  So much blame, so much shame, so much anger, so much sadness.  

 My journey was difficult to say the least.  After 7 treatments of chemotherapy, 35 treatments of external radiation, and 2 treatments of internal radiation, I was lucky enough to beat this cancer. Yes, I call myself lucky because these past ten years I have seen so many Cervivor sisters that have not made it through.  This makes my heart feel so sad and it brings mixed emotions to the surface.  The common survivor question comes up “why did I make it and not them?”  Sometimes we have to settle for no right answer, but I can assure this – their stories will continue to be shared and they will not be forgotten.

Cancer for sure changed my life forever.  I can look at the negative side and say cancer changed my body. I live in fear that this cancer can come back, I live with the physical and mental scars that this monster left me, I deal with the many secondary effects of my treatments, and I can go on with a big list of many other things. However, I choose to focus on the positive things that cancer gave me – I am part of an extraordinary cervical cancer community.  I have met women that are courageous, brave, strong, determined and supportive.  Women that have personally inspired and motivated me. Women with the common mission to eliminate this cancer forever – that our generation be the last generation with cervical cancer.  

I choose to live every day like it was my last and if it is not; I drop to my knees and give thanks.  

After my cancer, I wanted to make my survivorship count, and Cervivor gave me the opportunity to do just that.  I am a survivor turned advocate.  

 I share my story as many times as I need to. I educate women on the prevention and on the tools; we can utilize to prevent a cervical cancer diagnosis.  I make parents aware of the HPV vaccine for their children.  A vaccine that protects their child for the future from the six different cancers linked to Human Papillomavirus.  

I will be advocating for ten years this coming October and I am determined to continue to do so in the hope to make a difference.  

I try to live every day in the state of love and gratitude.  I am grateful that I am here. I am grateful for these past 10 years.  

Patti is not only a Cervivor Ambassador but also Cervivor’s Wellness Instructor for our Survivor Slimdown Facebook group.