“35 Bracelets”? I am not referring to beautiful gold bracelets that one wears to symbolize something special, or gifts that people give to one another as a symbol of their relationship.
I am referring to 35 hospital bracelets. I was given one each time I had an external radiation treatment. It has been 11 years and 2 months since I was declared cancer FREE, and I still have them.
Why? As a reminder of where I’ve been, and every step I have taken since then. As a reminder of every single treatment that I had to go through to fight cervical cancer. As a reminder that at one time I was identified by a bar code with numbers. As a reminder of coming face to face with my own mortality. As a reminder of the person I’ve become today. As a reminder to share my story to prevent other women from going through what I did.
Many cancer patients document their journeys either by writing on their journals, blogs or by taking pictures while going through treatments. Well, I have to say, I didn’t do any of those things. I didn’t write about it, talk about it, nor did I take pictures of myself while in treatment. Yet, I know it did happen. I have the memories and the scars.
I guess these 35 hospital bracelets tell part of the story, but the memories of my journey are embedded in my mind. I remember what it took for me to get out of bed every single day to go for treatment, I remember every machine used on me and I remember every needle that went through my skin. I don’t put away these hospital bracelets in a closet where I don’t see them. I have them in plain sight. They hang on the side of my refrigerator in a simple Rite Aid® plastic bag.
Perhaps I can be more sensitive and put them in a nicer bag, but I wont. That Rite Aid® bag is what I chose back then when I started collecting them one by one. They have been there all 11+ years, and will remain there as a reminder of the work I need to do as an advocate of this disease. I sometimes regret that I did not take any pictures, but at that time, it wasn’t even a thought. Pictures, journals, blogs even these 35 hospital bracelets can be destroyed or lost, but my memories will live with me for a lifetime.
Patti is a Cervivor Ambassador and Cervivor’s Wellness Instructor. She is a retired NYPD police officer and an 11 year cervical cancer survivor. She resides in NYC with her husband of 21 years where she’s a Group Fitness Instructor and a Health Advocate.