Cerviving with Lymphedema

Living life as a Cervivor involves tweaking one’s daily life to find a new normal that provides the best quality of life possible during and after treatment.  This involves researching options available for relief from side effects, advocating for the best medical care, networking with other Cervivors, and trying a variety of remedies to feel well. It can be exhausting physically, mentally, and financially. It does not end because many side effects are lifelong conditions such as Lymphedema.

Shawna with her compression hose, to control her lymphedema symptoms.

As an almost 13-year Cervivor of Adenocarcinoma 1B2, I have mastered the art of this “Cerviving” thing very well because I am used to it. It is just part of who I am. Every little ailment or pain does not typically trigger me or cause me to fear I am having a cancer recurrence. I know in some areas of my health I have some “special needs” and I embrace them. I always counted myself blessed to not have lymphedema. In 2005 I had 44 lymph nodes removed, a radical hysterectomy, and radiation. Recently, after a hospital stay for double kidney infection, I developed painful symptoms in my pelvis that were negatively affecting my daily life. Soon I would be making some serious lifelong changes to my daily life to manage the discomfort I was feeling. Cancer has created a voice in me that advocates for the care I deserve and researches the best options to treat my conditions. I was not finding relief after being discharged from the hospital with double kidney infection. While doctors were thinking my issues involved my immune system fighting off the kidney infection, my gut told me to push on to find a second opinion. A friend noted that my health was creating a sub-par quality of life for me daily and it was making me feel down.  I had to make many phone calls and eventually travel to a different hospital for an amazing team approach. After several specialists and tests, it was determined that this was a lymphocyst in my pelvis and that I did indeed have lymphedema. Crud! I was already managing every other side effect, and now this? Cancer is always the gift that keeps on giving.

What is Lymphedema?

Lymphedema is the swelling in the arm or leg that occurs if the flow of tissue fluid (lymph) out of the extremity is restricted somehow. Our lymph system consists of a network of vessels, like blood vessels except these carry a clear fluid called lymph. In my case, the lymph was not properly percolating through small bean-sized lymph nodes that cluster in my pelvis area. And well, it hurts A LOT. I often describe how it feels, by comparing it to a balloon sitting on my lady parts and there is a definite area inside my thigh that hurts ALL THE TIME. When I walk I can feel the pressure and it makes me limp.  My leg feels heavy and numb for hours or days at a time as if it is asleep, but it won’t wake up. Half of my lower extremities feel more swollen than the other half. The pressure pushes on my sciatic nerve and it hurts to sit and sometimes it throbs when I am not even moving. When I am having pain, an hour standing feels like three hours. I just want to put my leg up and keep it straight because sitting or bending it really isn’t much fun. The pain just sits there inside my left pelvis area and it won’t go away. I sometimes want to cut my leg off or get a spinal block, so I can’t feel it anymore. My leg sometimes feels like it is not even part of my body.

$8k Flexitouch Machine I use daily for lymphatic massage.
Hooked up to the Flexitouch.

A plan had to be developed to help me manage the pain and daily living. This involves compression garments for my left leg, a special lymph node massage machine I use daily, manual lymph node massage throughout my day, special wraps I sleep in at night, dieting to put less pressure on my groin area, doing individualized daily exercises for pelvic pain, drinking plenty of water, and avoiding hot showers/baths or extreme cold. My least favorite part is putting on my compression stocking each day. Putting them on feels as difficult as childbirth some days, but they truly help. Just this week my physical therapist, Dr. Lili Wells started a special therapy called “introital stretching” because the tissue inside my vaginal area is as stiff as a board. This is supposed to really help reduce my pain in this area after as few as six sessions. I also had my medical provider help me acquire handicap parking until (or if) my symptoms improve. Some days are better than others, but I am not going to let it slow me down.

Adjusting to life in compression wear in the summer heat!

I have been very blessed to have great insurance to help offset the expenses of dealing with lymphedema.  I had several CT Scans, an MRI, a Lymposcintigraphy where they shot dye up my feet (so very painful), and they did try to aspirate the area with a guided CT. This did not seem to help for very long and it may be repeated in the future, but also cauterized next time. I will try anything to make the pain stop. There are cutting edge procedures in Lymphedema that I am looking into.  A very small number of U.S. institutions treat lymphedema with a comprehensive multidisciplinary lymphedema service. These places are trying to change the perception that it is an untreatable, lifelong condition. Dr. Wei Chen of the University of Iowa feels that medical professionals have an obligation to treat lymphedema because they are causing it due to surgery and radiation.  I do not know if I am a candidate to be treated at one of these institutions, but it is exciting to read about “Lymphies” finding more permanent relief with new procedures. I recently made an appointment to see if this could help me in the future.

Physical Therapy with Dr. Wells.

I have always tried to boldly “Walk in my Cervivorship” because to me that is the best way to overcome any adversity and advocate after my cancer experience. There is no forgetting that I had Cervical Cancer. Some days, managing all of this makes me cry because I remember what life was like before cancer and I feel it puts limitations on me that complicate my daily life. At times, I become distracted because all I am thinking about is what I need to do to get ahead of the pain or what is the next step in my daily regimen. But then the perseverance I have within my soul rises and grabs back my joy while I prance around in my rock star compression stockings ready to take on the world.

Read Shawna’s Cervivor story here.

Dream Big and Live For Today

I was 22 when I found out I had cancer. It’s such a funny word, because automatically when I hear it, I began thinking about this thing living inside me calling itself cancer, and how it had been slowly trying to destroy me. Only, somehow I had already knew I had cervical cancer. I had been having surgeries every 6 months for 3 years to clean out my endometriosis, and it was only 4 months prior that, the doctor tried to “freeze” my abnormal cells. My uterus had been scraped of tumors in October, and it was then I begged the doctor to help me. I could feel my body retaliating against itself. I was the one that asked for the hysterectomy surgery, so when he walked in on December 23rd to wheel me into the procedure, it was of no surprise to me that I had stage 2 cervical cancer. However, it did surprise the doctor. I was 22, and according to the “norm”, I was too young to be going through such an ordeal. Perhaps, but hey, the freezing treatment was supposed to be 99.9% effective. So I guess I have always been one of the lucky ones in that 1% or less of odds playing against me.

At a time when I should be enjoying college and late night parties, I was fighting for my life. It wasn’t just physically, but at an emotional level I did not understand. The faith I was raised in held high expectations that I would be a wife and a mother, and I would naturally bear children. Only now, I was thanking my lucky stars I was alive, while many around me uttered the words, “she will never be a mom.” At least, this is what I internalized of their chatter. It was true, I could never naturally give birth, and I was too young to even be thinking about having children. I was battling these internal demons of “you won’t,” “you can’t,” “you’re broken”- while on the outside being the one that smiled and took the news in stride, knowing I would have to be the positive one because I had accepted my diagnosis.

The most detrimental thing of my diagnosis is why I had cervical cancer and what I have never spoken about until now. Most cervical cancer is caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV), something that had been gifted to me at a very young age. This was not by choice, but due to being forced to endure sexual trauma in my youth. I hid these facts and feelings, because I was told never to speak about it, or my life would be in danger or people would think I was a slut. This is a lot for a 10-year old mind to process, so I never spoke about it.

Even though I had cancer and survived, emotionally I was a mess. Not shocking to endure my first round of ovarian cancer at the age of 23 and a second round at 25. It took all of that for me to look myself in the mirror and say, “You need help.” This was when everything started to change and transformation took place. Leaving the nest I had always known, I took a job in Florida and the Bahamas, reconnecting with the ocean I fell in love at 10 years old, only months prior to my incredible trauma.

How did cancer change me? It made me re-evaluate my entire belief system. It made me question everything, and it allowed me to get out of a box and explore a wide open world. Before cancer, I had loved to travel. After cancer I reconnected with passion vowing to make it part of my life. Most importantly, cancer connected me to my body. I always credit yoga to saving my life, and nothing could ring more true. It may sound funny, but perhaps not unfamiliar that to find a yoga mat and breath-work to heal. My healing led me to wear I am today, a motivational and awareness speaker, travel/lifestyle/health writer, and yoga instructor. Most recently training in breath-work and mediation to lead healing sessions.

Since cancer I have always had the motto to dream bigger, however I think a more accurate statement is, “Live fully and passionately everyday.” Fall in love with every breath you take. Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them. Don’t hesitate in trying or tasting something new. Enjoy the little things. Cherish the moments. Because it is in those moments and memories that we will always be connected to life and to those we love. Believe in yourself and always choose what is good for your soul.

Mandy Murry is an accredited international travel, lifestyle, health and wellness writer, with features published in Thrive Global, Bella Grace, 24Karat, Slug, NC Living, X Magazine, The Huffington Post, The Yucatán Times, Live and Invest Overseas, TravelAge West and more. Her captivating story-telling adds magic to her words and her passion for writing is as contagious as her passion for life and cloud surfing (aka flying). Mandy blogs at cloudsurfing.lifeYou can also find her on Instagram: @cloudsurfinglife