Treatment

Brain Surgery and Radiation/Full Update from Lizzi

Recovery was a bit harder than I expected, especially coupled with chemo. I’m so thankful we had family here at all times to help with me and our little guy.  I did develop what’s called radiation somnolence. It felt like narcolepsy, I’d fall asleep doing anything. I’d taken to paint by numbers to keep me busy and my loved ones were constantly finding me asleep with paint brushes in my hand, it was pretty funny. And, apparently, I was just out of it. I’d fall asleep in any position. From surgery, I still have some trouble typing and need a cane to keep me on the straight and narrow, but continue to improve. I have trouble finding words sometimes still.

Now onto the full update. I was rehospitalized after my second chemo for a fever of 104! So, I missed trick-or-treating (major

My sister and I at chemo enjoying lunch.

bummer) but I was so out of it I kept forgetting. I did have a chest CT which showed minor pneumonia so I was bombarded with antibiotics. Unfortunately, the CT went low enough to incidentally show my liver. They found teeny tiny metastasis there. Everything (good news I guess) is tiny; scans like PET’s hadn’t caught them (PETs resolution is about a pencil eraser, these are too small) so now we know they are there to treat too. I’ve finished 3 cycles of Carboplatin/Taxol (I hadn’t had the Avastin due to potential effects to the irradiated blood vessels in my head), I’ve also had 2 blood transfusions in the process due to low red blood cells.

I saw my oncologist before my last chemo and he decided to change my regimen. My CA-125 (cancer marker) crept up between treatments and he wasn’t comfortable holding out on the Carbo/Taxol/Avastin routine so we are switching to a Cisplatin/Gemzar/Avastin cocktail. I’ll probably feel better (Woohoo) and grow my hair back. I had my first dose of Cisplatin/Avastin. I’d had the Cisplatin 2 years ago when I was originally treated, will start Gemzar next week (it wasn’t in yet) and slept like a baby last night, sleeping is hard during normal hours for me during cancer treatment! Naps, however, are easy! If you are in treatment and having trouble with it, with pain, anything DON’T be afraid to tell you Dr. I wasted weeks keeping things to myself which only hurt me. So be your own advocate, please!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS from our family to yours. We are working on Wayne’s “Cheese” smile! But I did have enough energy to go with my dad and hubby to cut a Christmas tree!

We are getting back in touch with MD Anderson to see if they have more tricks up their sleeve. In the interim, I’m still not my full self but know I will be soon. This felt like the first blow but my oncologist just says it’s like a shovel and sand, the previous treatment was working and we were getting the sand out (my two palpable lymph nodes are gone) we’re just looking for a bigger shovel and we’ll find it. I like him a lot and I know we’ll find it.

Read Lizzi’s original post here.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow: Cancer & Self Image

I have learned so much from cancer. They say, “Through darkness comes light.” I really believe that’s true.

In remission for the third time, having to lose my hair due to chemotherapy was hard on me as a woman. I know most will say, “It’s just hair.” Even I say it too, just to convince myself to stay strong. But, in fact, it sucks. It truly opened my eyes to everything I once wasn’t happy with.

Having cervical cancer reminded me of how I was so hard on myself and picked myself apart. I know I’m not the only woman who’s ever felt that way. I look back and think, “Wow Jill, you were so beautiful. Why didn’t you see it? Why did you pick yourself apart and not embrace your hips that measured 44 inches, or embrace your Roman nose?” After all, it’s my personal features that give me my character. Don’t get me wrong, I had confidence, but I still found things that I thought weren’t “perfect.” Nothing is perfect!

Every now and then I like to look back on pictures of myself before cancer. Why did I complain? I was fine the way I was. Now I’m fighting something more meaningful. I’m fighting for my life. I’ve learned to embrace life’s changes, how my body has changed and how I’m Mrs. T (bald) once again. Or how going #2 is completely different from before. Because I have a colostomy bag, this is now totally different.

So my advice to other women, especially women with cancer is to love WHO YOU ARE. Be happy with how you were created; focus on what you HAVE and NOT what you DON’T. Believe me, there’s something greater out there for you, if you believe. I’m a people watcher, sounds creepy I know. I often wonder to myself whether or not the person I’m admiring knows how eccentric he or she is. Being in the city regularly due to my medical appointments, I get to see all colors of the rainbow. The culture differences, the true beauty behind just how different we may look. But internally we’re all the same.

No matter what type of cancer you have ladies, just remember, you’re beautiful inside and out. Your inner beauty will always be there. We might need time adjusting to our shiny new heads or new gadgets attached to our bodies. But, with all the hardships that come along with our new appearances and emotions due to cancer, just remember how bad ass we truly are.

I hope to inspire other women dealing with Cervical Cancer to share their stories and true emotions without fear. Tell it how it Is; don’t hold back. Our cancer is tough, but somehow being painted as “easy.” If I can reach you with my story, just imagine who you’ll inspire by sharing yours. Let’s come together, share our stories, and help one another through our battles. We can help prevent future cases of Cervical Cancer, the one cancer that can often be prevented with a vaccine.

From now on, I’m going to love every inch of me because I’m beautiful inside and out. I will also remind my friend’s how beautiful they are as well. You have one life. Live it, love it, embrace the changes, take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself and others.

Now that I’ve gained my confidence back, I’m going to rock my bald head, wear my wigs and not care who’s looking. Because they could really be thinking, “Wow, she’s so fierce.” Those stares may not have anything to do with my cancer.

So gentlemen, don’t be afraid of our appearances, we’re strong women who know how valuable life is, how anything can change but we still ride the waves. How special love truly is. If you see a friend or a loved one going through the changes of cancer, please remind them how beautiful they are.

Jillian Scalfani is a young 34-year-old mother with an incurable form of cervical cancer. She and her children have a great support system when it comes to her friend’s and family. Read more about Jillian here.