Cervivor Stories

Dream Big and Live For Today

I was 22 when I found out I had cancer. It’s such a funny word, because automatically when I hear it, I began thinking about this thing living inside me calling itself cancer, and how it had been slowly trying to destroy me. Only, somehow I had already knew I had cervical cancer. I had been having surgeries every 6 months for 3 years to clean out my endometriosis, and it was only 4 months prior that, the doctor tried to “freeze” my abnormal cells. My uterus had been scraped of tumors in October, and it was then I begged the doctor to help me. I could feel my body retaliating against itself. I was the one that asked for the hysterectomy surgery, so when he walked in on December 23rd to wheel me into the procedure, it was of no surprise to me that I had stage 2 cervical cancer. However, it did surprise the doctor. I was 22, and according to the “norm”, I was too young to be going through such an ordeal. Perhaps, but hey, the freezing treatment was supposed to be 99.9% effective. So I guess I have always been one of the lucky ones in that 1% or less of odds playing against me.

At a time when I should be enjoying college and late night parties, I was fighting for my life. It wasn’t just physically, but at an emotional level I did not understand. The faith I was raised in held high expectations that I would be a wife and a mother, and I would naturally bear children. Only now, I was thanking my lucky stars I was alive, while many around me uttered the words, “she will never be a mom.” At least, this is what I internalized of their chatter. It was true, I could never naturally give birth, and I was too young to even be thinking about having children. I was battling these internal demons of “you won’t,” “you can’t,” “you’re broken”- while on the outside being the one that smiled and took the news in stride, knowing I would have to be the positive one because I had accepted my diagnosis.

The most detrimental thing of my diagnosis is why I had cervical cancer and what I have never spoken about until now. Most cervical cancer is caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV), something that had been gifted to me at a very young age. This was not by choice, but due to being forced to endure sexual trauma in my youth. I hid these facts and feelings, because I was told never to speak about it, or my life would be in danger or people would think I was a slut. This is a lot for a 10-year old mind to process, so I never spoke about it.

Even though I had cancer and survived, emotionally I was a mess. Not shocking to endure my first round of ovarian cancer at the age of 23 and a second round at 25. It took all of that for me to look myself in the mirror and say, “You need help.” This was when everything started to change and transformation took place. Leaving the nest I had always known, I took a job in Florida and the Bahamas, reconnecting with the ocean I fell in love at 10 years old, only months prior to my incredible trauma.

How did cancer change me? It made me re-evaluate my entire belief system. It made me question everything, and it allowed me to get out of a box and explore a wide open world. Before cancer, I had loved to travel. After cancer I reconnected with passion vowing to make it part of my life. Most importantly, cancer connected me to my body. I always credit yoga to saving my life, and nothing could ring more true. It may sound funny, but perhaps not unfamiliar that to find a yoga mat and breath-work to heal. My healing led me to wear I am today, a motivational and awareness speaker, travel/lifestyle/health writer, and yoga instructor. Most recently training in breath-work and mediation to lead healing sessions.

Since cancer I have always had the motto to dream bigger, however I think a more accurate statement is, “Live fully and passionately everyday.” Fall in love with every breath you take. Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them. Don’t hesitate in trying or tasting something new. Enjoy the little things. Cherish the moments. Because it is in those moments and memories that we will always be connected to life and to those we love. Believe in yourself and always choose what is good for your soul.

Mandy Murry is an accredited international travel, lifestyle, health and wellness writer, with features published in Thrive Global, Bella Grace, 24Karat, Slug, NC Living, X Magazine, The Huffington Post, The Yucatán Times, Live and Invest Overseas, TravelAge West and more. Her captivating story-telling adds magic to her words and her passion for writing is as contagious as her passion for life and cloud surfing (aka flying). Mandy blogs at cloudsurfing.life. You can also find her on Instagram: @cloudsurfinglife

Kilimanjaro Cancer Crusher

It’s funny the way life has a way of twisting and turning in unpredictable ways. I never imagined that I would have cancer, let alone cancer in my vagina. I also never imagined that my diagnosis would lead me around the world to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. But that’s exactly where I am heading in just two short months.

My adventure really begins with an abnormal Pap Test at the age of 34 after a routine gyn checkup. The moment the doctor told me I had HPV was something I will never forget. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was surprised and mortified that I had an STI. Me? No way! But, yes, I am one of the 4 out of 5 Americans with HPV. Despite the several procedures my doctor tried to rid my cervix of the dysplasia nothing was working and I eventually had a total hysterectomy. HPV wasn’t done with me, however, and three years later symptoms returned and I was diagnosed with stage 2 vaginal cancer. This time surgery was not an option and I had two months of chemotherapy, external radiation and internal radiation. The treatment was successful and I have, very thankfully and gratefully, been cancer free for almost three years.

My cancer experience immediately brought life into focus and forced me to really examine what I was doing with mine. I rapidly decided upon 2 driving ideas….1) Although I was weaker and sicker than I had imagined possible, I was alive and recovering. I was determined to outlive my diagnosis and have as much adventure and travel as possible. And 2) I would dedicate my survivorship to prevent other women from living my experience and make my heartbreak count for others.

Since my treatment ended I have been working diligently on these two missions. I’ve learned how to whitewater kayak and paddled some of the most beautiful rivers and lakes in the South, and hiked the Rockies in Colorado and the Sierras in California. I met and was inspired by the adventure of an ovarian cancer survivor, advocate, and friend of mine to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. Me? Sure, why not?! During this time I also became a passionate advocate for Cervivor and share HPV and cervical/vaginal cancer awareness and information at events and through social media.

Very quickly my two missions began to converge. My preparation and research of Kilimanjaro and Tanzania naturally brought me to global cervical cancer advocacy. I quickly uncovered the heartbreaking cervical cancer burden in Tanzania. Globally, more than 500k women will be diagnosed with cervical cancer and 270k of those women will die, 90% of them in underdeveloped regions. Women in Tanzania with the same diagnosis as me suffer from an astounding 80% mortality rate. A tragic combination of lack of reproductive health knowledge, access to medical treatment, trained professionals, and basic supplies usually means that women are diagnosed at more advanced stages than the typical American and often do not receive treatment.

The fact that so many women die at the hands of an almost completely preventable disease every year is a tragedy of epic proportion. There was no way I could travel to Kilimanjaro without trying to do whatever I could to help these women and communities. I pulled together a committed team of people, including my own gyn oncologist, to climb Kilimanjaro with me. We are dedicating our climb and have successfully met our goal to fund a cervical cancer screening clinic in Tanzania with the organization Cure Cervical Cancer. Our team leaves for Tanzania later this summer for the trip of a lifetime including a tour of a remote mobile cervical cancer screening clinic in Moshi, a 7-day hike up 19k feet on Mt. Kilimanjaro and a safari. We are training regularly, hiking a lot, and currently trying to coordinate our ridiculously long packing lists.

I came across a Steve Jobs’ quote the other day that struck me, “The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” This whole adventure began with a “crazy” idea and a passion to DO something. With the help of my family, friends and supporters, my dreams are coming true and I could not be more humbled and grateful. My cancer does not define me, nor has it held me back. It fuels my fire to live my life with purpose and adventure. I hope my experiences inspire YOU – what’s your next adventure?

Read Sarah’s Cervivor story here.

Follow along with the Kili Cancer Crushers’ team on Facebook or Crowdrise.