HPV related cancer

A Decade

In the United States, Cinco de Mayo has evolved into a commemoration of Mexican culture and heritage and many take this day to drink their favorite Margaritas (no judgement).  For me “El Cinco de Mayo“ or the fifth of May has a different meaning.  It is the day I celebrate being cancer FREE.  This year I am celebrating 10 years. Therefore, in my mind, everyone is celebrating with me.  So have a margarita for me.  

 Wow! 10 years – a whole decade – what a blessing. 

It is amazing to me that I am here.  Ten years ago, I did not see this as a possibility.  I found myself in a battle fighting for my life.   

I had just retired from the NYC Police Department after 20 years as a Police Officer.  I was getting ready to enjoy life with my husband, but unfortunately, I was deviated from my plans.  Three months after I retired, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer stage IIB.  

What do I do now? Am I going to die?  So many questions and so little answers.  I did not know anyone with this cancer.  I did not even know where it came from.  I was blaming myself for not going to see the doctor on a regular basis.  I have not seen my GYN doctor for over three years.  So much blame, so much shame, so much anger, so much sadness.  

 My journey was difficult to say the least.  After 7 treatments of chemotherapy, 35 treatments of external radiation, and 2 treatments of internal radiation, I was lucky enough to beat this cancer. Yes, I call myself lucky because these past ten years I have seen so many Cervivor sisters that have not made it through.  This makes my heart feel so sad and it brings mixed emotions to the surface.  The common survivor question comes up “why did I make it and not them?”  Sometimes we have to settle for no right answer, but I can assure this – their stories will continue to be shared and they will not be forgotten.

Cancer for sure changed my life forever.  I can look at the negative side and say cancer changed my body. I live in fear that this cancer can come back, I live with the physical and mental scars that this monster left me, I deal with the many secondary effects of my treatments, and I can go on with a big list of many other things. However, I choose to focus on the positive things that cancer gave me – I am part of an extraordinary cervical cancer community.  I have met women that are courageous, brave, strong, determined and supportive.  Women that have personally inspired and motivated me. Women with the common mission to eliminate this cancer forever – that our generation be the last generation with cervical cancer.  

I choose to live every day like it was my last and if it is not; I drop to my knees and give thanks.  

After my cancer, I wanted to make my survivorship count, and Cervivor gave me the opportunity to do just that.  I am a survivor turned advocate.  

 I share my story as many times as I need to. I educate women on the prevention and on the tools; we can utilize to prevent a cervical cancer diagnosis.  I make parents aware of the HPV vaccine for their children.  A vaccine that protects their child for the future from the six different cancers linked to Human Papillomavirus.  

I will be advocating for ten years this coming October and I am determined to continue to do so in the hope to make a difference.  

I try to live every day in the state of love and gratitude.  I am grateful that I am here. I am grateful for these past 10 years.  

Patti is not only a Cervivor Ambassador but also Cervivor’s Wellness Instructor for our Survivor Slimdown Facebook group.

Through the Eyes of a Caregiver

When I was asked to share my thoughts on what cancer is like from the perspective of a caregiver, I thought back to what life was like with my husband prior to his HPV-derived throat cancer diagnosis, when my care giving consisted of making meals for our family, doing laundry, going to school events, and other typical family care giving activities.  To say the least, life was good!  Jon was a successful sales and marketing executive who spent a lot of time working, traveling, talking, reading, golfing, exercising, laughing, cooking and generally always having fun no matter the setting or the audience!  He was a strong, smart, driven and compassionate man who loved being a husband and father.

As you can imagine, Jon’s cancer diagnosis came as a complete shock!  The business trip that was scheduled for the following day was quickly cancelled so we could absorb the news, talk with our son, and begin scheduling appointments with oncologists and surgeons.  The countless medical appointments were a blur…so much information to digest, so many possible side effects from the 7 weeks of radiation and 3 chemo treatments that suddenly replaced the spring break trip, work travel, business meetings and family gatherings on Jon’s calendar.

I wasn’t thinking about what the treatment plans were replacing on MY calendar…because I didn’t have cancer, my husband did.  However, I quickly learned that my schedule as a caregiver would become dependent not only on Jon’s treatment schedule as a cancer patient, but also on the consequences of that treatment on Jon’s ability to function as he had for the previous 25 years of our marriage.

Absolutely nothing or no one could have prepared me for watching Jon suffer as his entire being was consumed with fighting cancer…from the physical to the mental to the emotional…it was the fight of, and for, his life.  As his wife, I was so focused on caring for my him and keeping life as normal as possible for our 16-year-old son, that I was unaware of the physical, mental and emotional toll that cancer would have on me.  I would not understand this until well after Jon was back on his feet…when he was able to go on his first business trip after a full year of being “grounded”.  While Jon started back to work, and Matthew continued his busy high school schedule, I found myself sitting at home wondering what my purpose was!  It felt as though I was no longer “needed.”

For almost a year, Jon NEEDED me!  He needed me in a way that I could have never imagined. I never could have imagined my husband being unable to drive or travel, unable to work or think, unable to speak or swallow, unable to parent or be a loving spouse…. basically, unable to participate in life.  Putting it bluntly…. treatment sucked! The mental and emotional burden of watching my husband slowly disappear before my eyes was hard….no meals together, no drinks on the deck, no one with whom to discuss the ups and downs of life, no one to help me keep our son’s life as normal as possible when there was nothing normal about it…it was the loneliest time of my life!

Fighting cancer is hard work…for the patient and the caregiver.  Jon had an amazing medical team and caregiver (yep…that’s me!) that developed a treatment and care plan to provide him the best opportunity to win the fight.  Caregivers, please remember to care not only for your loved one, but also for yourself. The better you care for yourself, the better care you can give to your loved one.  We caregivers are stronger than we think…but we should never think we are so strong that we don’t ask for, or accept, help from others.  People want to help…so let them!  Let them feed you, shop for you, sit with your loved one while you sleep or shower or exercise or go to church or have lunch with a friend, or do whatever it is that fills your bucket.

Speaking from experience, I underestimated the value of self-care.  It was hard to think about leaving Jon, even for an hour, when he needed me more than he ever had.  I promise that you will be a better caregiver if you take time for you.  It is not selfish…it is necessary!  It will allow you to move forward when they don’t “NEED” you anymore because they are able to go back to living their lives.

Kris Scharingson is a graduate of Central College in Pella, Iowa and Iowa State University.  She is currently serving as the Volunteer Chair of the ACS HPV Cancer Free Volunteer Work Group and is serving as the sponsorship chair for the Relay for Life of Ankeny.  Kris and her husband Jon have been married for 27 years and have a 19 year old son Matthew and a 12 year old puppy named Griffey.