HPV

Dream Big and Live For Today

I was 22 when I found out I had cancer. It’s such a funny word, because automatically when I hear it, I began thinking about this thing living inside me calling itself cancer, and how it had been slowly trying to destroy me. Only, somehow I had already knew I had cervical cancer. I had been having surgeries every 6 months for 3 years to clean out my endometriosis, and it was only 4 months prior that, the doctor tried to “freeze” my abnormal cells. My uterus had been scraped of tumors in October, and it was then I begged the doctor to help me. I could feel my body retaliating against itself. I was the one that asked for the hysterectomy surgery, so when he walked in on December 23rd to wheel me into the procedure, it was of no surprise to me that I had stage 2 cervical cancer. However, it did surprise the doctor. I was 22, and according to the “norm”, I was too young to be going through such an ordeal. Perhaps, but hey, the freezing treatment was supposed to be 99.9% effective. So I guess I have always been one of the lucky ones in that 1% or less of odds playing against me.

At a time when I should be enjoying college and late night parties, I was fighting for my life. It wasn’t just physically, but at an emotional level I did not understand. The faith I was raised in held high expectations that I would be a wife and a mother, and I would naturally bear children. Only now, I was thanking my lucky stars I was alive, while many around me uttered the words, “she will never be a mom.” At least, this is what I internalized of their chatter. It was true, I could never naturally give birth, and I was too young to even be thinking about having children. I was battling these internal demons of “you won’t,” “you can’t,” “you’re broken”- while on the outside being the one that smiled and took the news in stride, knowing I would have to be the positive one because I had accepted my diagnosis.

The most detrimental thing of my diagnosis is why I had cervical cancer and what I have never spoken about until now. Most cervical cancer is caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV), something that had been gifted to me at a very young age. This was not by choice, but due to being forced to endure sexual trauma in my youth. I hid these facts and feelings, because I was told never to speak about it, or my life would be in danger or people would think I was a slut. This is a lot for a 10-year old mind to process, so I never spoke about it.

Even though I had cancer and survived, emotionally I was a mess. Not shocking to endure my first round of ovarian cancer at the age of 23 and a second round at 25. It took all of that for me to look myself in the mirror and say, “You need help.” This was when everything started to change and transformation took place. Leaving the nest I had always known, I took a job in Florida and the Bahamas, reconnecting with the ocean I fell in love at 10 years old, only months prior to my incredible trauma.

How did cancer change me? It made me re-evaluate my entire belief system. It made me question everything, and it allowed me to get out of a box and explore a wide open world. Before cancer, I had loved to travel. After cancer I reconnected with passion vowing to make it part of my life. Most importantly, cancer connected me to my body. I always credit yoga to saving my life, and nothing could ring more true. It may sound funny, but perhaps not unfamiliar that to find a yoga mat and breath-work to heal. My healing led me to wear I am today, a motivational and awareness speaker, travel/lifestyle/health writer, and yoga instructor. Most recently training in breath-work and mediation to lead healing sessions.

Since cancer I have always had the motto to dream bigger, however I think a more accurate statement is, “Live fully and passionately everyday.” Fall in love with every breath you take. Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them. Don’t hesitate in trying or tasting something new. Enjoy the little things. Cherish the moments. Because it is in those moments and memories that we will always be connected to life and to those we love. Believe in yourself and always choose what is good for your soul.

Mandy Murry is an accredited international travel, lifestyle, health and wellness writer, with features published in Thrive Global, Bella Grace, 24Karat, Slug, NC Living, X Magazine, The Huffington Post, The Yucatán Times, Live and Invest Overseas, TravelAge West and more. Her captivating story-telling adds magic to her words and her passion for writing is as contagious as her passion for life and cloud surfing (aka flying). Mandy blogs at cloudsurfing.life. You can also find her on Instagram: @cloudsurfinglife

Stressed Spelled Backwards Is Desserts

Do you know those moments in life where they hit you so strong you will never forget it? Moments that change your direction in life? For me that moment was months before I was told I had cancer. At the time I was living in McLean, VA and I was at my doctor’s office which was close by. It was a follow-up after my annual exam and the exact words were “what did you do in the last year that stressed you out so much.”

Funny, I responded so nonchalant and said, “work”. It didn’t even take the doctor a second to come back and say “find a new job.” That was the appointment I was told I had HPV. I had no clue what that meant except I was told that so many people had it and it was probably just lying dormant in my body waiting for the breakdown. Imagine that, a dormant disease waiting for stress to weaken you just enough that it can begin battle. It is like the tale of the Trojan Horse, an army waiting, hiding for their moment to concur. I was completely ignorant to the stigma associated with HPV, well, at least until I told a family member and that was met with words so hurtful that I was speechless. The days following led to a Loop Electrosurgical Excision Procedure (LEEP), a lot of reading, and many lectures on managing stress.

That was my moment. Now, I can’t say I don’t stress. I am human, it is part of life, but I can say I am much better at stepping back and minimizing stress. Learning Where To Buy CBD Oil In Iowa thanks to HerbMighty was a really useful way of doing just that. My HPV resulted in cervical cancer and luckily it was caught early. From the moment I was told I had HPV to the moment I was told I had cancer and then what I call the year of many surgeries, I took a step back and told myself to wake up and reprioritize.

Some people exercise, some people even consider switching up their old mattress, in the hopes of finding the best mattress to help improve comfort, some change careers, some seek spiritual guidance; the list goes on, and on, and on. Me? I bake cakes. Cake decorating was a hobby that I enjoyed and I found that it was a great outlet for me. Taking classes, learning new techniques, or simply painting on fondant. It’s not a business, just a hobby. The best part of my reprioritization was that I remembered how much it meant to me to volunteer. I found a volunteer opportunity that allows me to make creative birthday cakes for children who live in shelters. Baking and volunteering; equals one happy me. How awesome is that! I get to bake while bringing smiles to lots of children who would not normally have a birthday party. I go all out. It brings me such joy to create a special cake for these children.

So what is your outlet? What things or activities help you manage your stress?

Read Tina’s Cervivor Story here.