Caregivers Are Priceless

Celebrated every November, National Family Caregivers Month, is an opportunity to honor the caregivers in our lives whether they are family or chosen family.

Hear from the Cervivor community as they share beautiful messages of love and appreciation for the people and other resources that have given them strength, support, and kindness.

Kyana

My caregiver/fiancé. He has been there for me through so many different situations. We’ve had bumps in the road but love prevails. He fed me, bathed me, clothed me when I was too weak and gives hugs all the time. Most of all, he spoke life into me by encouraging and motivating me every single day.

Tammy

My husband has been amazing through this whole thing. Spoils me rotten with anything I need, comes with me to all of my appointments, asks questions I wouldn’t even think to ask, has voluntarily taken over taxi duty for our two teenagers, and he bought me a fancy bidet toilet seat as a “Let’s kick cancer’s ass” gift. What more can I ask for??? So incredibly grateful for him.

Selena

“Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible.” ~ Tia Walker

Having been on both sides – patient vs caregiver, I’ve found I prefer to give as receiving can be difficult at times. Being overwhelmed with generosity can feel difficult to live up to.

Victoria

My hubby has been by my side every minute of every appointment, side effect, bad day, etc. This was him holding my hand while waiting for a brachy appointment. He’s my rock. My comforter. My best friend. And, my caregiver. I know it’s not easy for him (I myself have been a caregiver to my dad and my mom), and it’s definitely not easy for him to watch the person he vowed to love forever to be in pain. To suffer. To possibly face a future without them.

Karen

This is my baby girl. When I got diagnosed with stage 3B cervical cancer four years ago, she sold her home, packed her five children up and moved in with me. I’ve also had to have a surgery due to cancer in my lung and because the radiation had deteriorated my bones from my belly button down, I had a total hip and knee replacement.

Multiple strokes kept me in the hospital but she’s been by my side from the day that I heard, ‘you have cancer’. We get on each other’s nerves once in awhile but that’s what mothers and daughters do and at the end of the day I know she’s got my back.

She is also an amazing caregiver to her five children; a set of six year old twin girls, her seven year old boy, an 11 year old son with Asperger’s and ADHD, who was born with no rectum and had a colostomy bag for quite a few years, and a soon-to-be 13 year old daughter. I always say I’m very blessed and our house is always filled with love.

Patti

My caregiver. My support. My love.

He held my hand throughout the journey and he hasn’t let go.

Lisa

My hubby was always a bit of a grumpy guy but this last year he has turned into a big old softy. The day after my radical hysterectomy he, without being asked, brushed my hair for the first time ever. He works 12 hours from our home and took off a month after surgery to look after me.

This November, Cervivor has partnered with Caregiver Action Network for their national campaign #CaregiverAnd. It’s an opportunity to celebrate the identities and passions that enrich your life. Check out Caregiver Action Network’s Family Caregiver Toolbox. It’s full of great resources for every topic!

Voices from Caregivers on Family Caregivers Month

As November comes to a close and families come together over the holidays, let’s remember the importance of the caregivers in our lives. November is National Family Caregivers Month and a great opportunity to give out appreciations to the family and friends who helped support us during our diagnosis, treatment, recovery, and today.

We are pleased that there are many caregivers who are active in our Cervivor community. Several have shared their experience on our blog.

Like Lillian, who wrote about how “taking care of my mother has made me grateful and showed me how to go on.

My great aunt took care of my mother. But when my aunt fell asleep, my mother would call for me to help her. I was young, and it was incredibly painful to take care of my mother and see her suffer. I developed a lot of inner strength during that time. I relied on the love I had for my mother to carry me through those nights. I remember one evening when she was in pain, we held hands and listened to the song ‘I Feel Like Going On.’ We listened to that song so many times that eventually we were both singing it. We both felt encouraged. I felt like I had the strength to take care of her, and she felt like she had the strength to live for her family.

Lillian lost her mother to cervical cancer. In her blog, she reflects about the impact that caring for her mother had on her life. “Many times in my life there have been things that are rough. Many times I want to give up. Sometimes I am having a bad day. But I think about that day, when I held my mother’s hand and sang, and I feel like going on.”

Like Tarrence, who so honestly and openly shared the challenges of getting from one day to the next in his blog post, What did I do as a caregiver?  I endured. 

I just kept going and tried to do things that could keep us all moving forward getting through one day at a time.  Ultimately my role as caregiver was to show up every day and do the very best I could.  That’s really all anyone can ask of you, and it’s literally all you can do…Through this experience, I learned a lot about what it means to really be with someone.   I learned that I can show up for someone in ways I’m not sure I knew I could before this.  I learned that I’m stronger than I thought I was and that my Heather is truly the strongest person I know.  I learned a lot about letting people in and being vulnerable.  For me, being a caregiver meant calling upon all I had to get through one day and onto the next.  It meant bringing the best parts of myself to the tasks we were presented with each day.” 

Like Claude, who learned about truly “being a man” when he became a caregiver to his partner Holly.

In my opinion, being a man is standing with the woman you love and help her walk down a linoleum hallway in the middle of the night and holding her hand as she struggles to stay upright.  It’s holding the catheter bag filled with despair and fragile hope. Being a man is running to every CVS, Walgreens and 7-Eleven trying to find a back scratcher for Holly to use on her legs as she cannot bend down to reach them while she lies between fits of incredible pain. Being a man is staying awake all night to rub her back as gently as possible, so that she may rest for even just a moment.”

Caregivers are a core part of our lives and our Cervivor community. Please leave a comment below if you have an awesome caregiver you want to give a shout-out to. If you have a caregiver who is willing to write about his/her experiences and perspective, we’d love feature them in an upcoming blog! We are stronger when we share our stories, and the whole community can benefit. Email us at [email protected]

Is someone in your community currently helping support and care for a loved one undergoing cancer treatment? Make sure they have resources that can help, such as plugging in with the Caregiver Action Network.