Stressed Spelled Backwards Is Desserts

Do you know those moments in life where they hit you so strong you will never forget it? Moments that change your direction in life? For me that moment was months before I was told I had cancer. At the time I was living in McLean, VA and I was at my doctor’s office which was close by. It was a follow-up after my annual exam and the exact words were “what did you do in the last year that stressed you out so much.”

Funny, I responded so nonchalant and said, “work”. It didn’t even take the doctor a second to come back and say “find a new job.” That was the appointment I was told I had HPV. I had no clue what that meant except I was told that so many people had it and it was probably just lying dormant in my body waiting for the breakdown. Imagine that, a dormant disease waiting for stress to weaken you just enough that it can begin battle. It is like the tale of the Trojan Horse, an army waiting, hiding for their moment to concur. I was completely ignorant to the stigma associated with HPV, well, at least until I told a family member and that was met with words so hurtful that I was speechless. The days following led to a Loop Electrosurgical Excision Procedure (LEEP), a lot of reading, and many lectures on managing stress.

That was my moment. Now, I can’t say I don’t stress. I am human, it is part of life, but I can say I am much better at stepping back and minimizing stress. My HPV resulted in cervical cancer and luckily it was caught early. From the moment I was told I had HPV to the moment I was told I had cancer and then what I call the year of many surgeries, I took a step back and told myself to wake up and reprioritize.

Some people exercise, some people buy something like a full size mattress to relax, some change careers, some seek spiritual guidance; the list goes on, and on, and on. Me? I bake cakes. Cake decorating was a hobby that I enjoyed and I found that it was a great outlet for me. Taking classes, learning new techniques, or simply painting on fondant. It’s not a business, just a hobby. The best part of my reprioritization was that I remembered how much it meant to me to volunteer. I found a volunteer opportunity that allows me to make creative birthday cakes for children who live in shelters. Baking and volunteering; equals one happy me. How awesome is that! I get to bake while bringing smiles to lots of children who would not normally have a birthday party. I go all out. It brings me such joy to create a special cake for these children.

So what is your outlet? What things or activities help you manage your stress?

Read Tina’s Cervivor Story here.

 

The Cancer Trauma Project

Cancer Related Traumatic Stress is real and the The Cancer Trauma Project, together with Cervivor is doing something about it. We appreciate this opportunity to share our project with the Cervivor community and to make a lasting impact. The Cancer Trauma Project seeks to promote understanding of the emotional trauma people experience from cancer. We do this by listening to stories, writing, speaking, and training providers and we need your help.

Cancer Related Traumatic Stress is related to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in that it falls on the spectrum of stress-related mental health conditions but it is not widely recognized. In fact, if your medical team told you about it, please contact us because we want to thank them! More often people aren’t told about Cancer Related Traumatic Stress even though people with cancer are often screened for distress. Distress and traumatic stress are very different. We might be distressed about being late to an appointment, having another scan, preparing for surgery or something else. For the most part, when the event that is causing us distress is over, we are OK.  With traumatic stress, the effects are lasting, might not show themselves until long after the event, and are often marked by experiencing the same thoughts, feelings, and body sensations as they did during the event, even though we know we are nowhere near the doctor’s office. This is a hallmark or trauma – your body remembers the event and can activate the same feelings and sensations as if you were there again. In its extreme form, this is a flashback.The most common events during the cancer journey that cause traumatic stress are the diagnosis conversation, the time between that conversation and a treatment plan or starting treatment, and follow up scans. But we know that the cancer journey is fraught with many more daily events, like having to get another needle, realizing that your plans for biological children may be over, losing your hair, figuring out how to explain to employers why you were out of work, medical bills, the onslaught of “well wishes” from others, sharing the news with loved ones, especially children, and many others.

The Cancer Trauma Project has collected over 50 stories. We incorporate these stories into our writing to demonstrate the impact of cancer related traumatic stress. Hear the words of one survivor:

The chemo. You feel like you’re really sick. It’s the chemicals and not the cancer but your mind can’t distinguish that. So emotionally you’re dying. I felt like I was facing my death even though I had some chances I wasn’t going to die. I could have. But I gripped it like I could die.

The biggest thing is I couldn’t ever feel grounded. I felt I was always on, trying to go 100 miles an hour to try and deal with everything. It is as if you’re playing dodge ball and everyone is always throwing balls at you.

I’d stay up late at night, my heart was racing, my actions were quick, trying to figure things out. Panic is disorganized but I would focus on let’s get on with everything. That stayed at a heightened level.

When we talk about the emotional trauma related to cancer so many people validate what we are saying but when push comes to shove people aren’t getting the right kind of mental health treatment and that is a BIG issue. To be effective we have to hear your stories. We are grateful that the Cervivor community teaches cervivors how to powerfully share their stories. We all know that having cancer can be a very stressful experience for both the person with cancer and their support system. But what hasn’t been clearly documented is the way the stress of cancer is emotional trauma. The Cancer Trauma Project is looking at trauma as Dr. Saakvitne and her colleagues did. Trauma in people with cancer is the unique individual experience of an event, a series of events, or a set of enduring conditions, in which the individual’s ability to integrate their emotional experience is overwhelmed.

Your story provides the wisdom that guides our work. If you’d like to participate you can complete our screening or send an email to contact@cancertrauma.com. After you complete the screening form, we’ll follow up to schedule an interview or send you the online interview. If you’re in the Washington, DC area, we’d love to meet you in person. If we are going to truly help people with Cancer Related Traumatic Stress, we need to know how the emotional trauma of cancer happens. By listening to your stories, the Cancer Trauma Project will learn from you and spread the word through writing, speaking, and training. Please join us in this mission.

Click here to complete the screening to share your story.