Here is an ‘artified’ version of my port scar. Currently if I wear a v-neck or scoop-neck piece of clothing it will show. Once my port is removed, it may change shape slightly but it will still be there unless I choose to have plastic surgery.
There is a lot of debate among my teal sisters about scars. Many have been so affected by their experience that they choose to cover them up through makeup, corrective surgery or tattoos. I absolutely respect their choices. I am choosing to embrace my battle scars.
I find it oddly comforting to see it. It’s also a great conversation starter. I have had people ask, “what happened?” I welcome that because then I am able to share my story and hopefully spread more awareness about cervical cancer. Like my c-section scar, it is a reminder of not just my physical journey but my emotional and spiritual one as well.
Wabi-sabi is a concept that motions us to constantly search for the beauty in imperfection and accept the more natural cycle of life. It reminds us that all things including us and life itself, are impermanent, incomplete and imperfect. And it seems a much healthier way of looking at the world when you realize perfection is NOT the goal.
An ancient form of art stems for wabi-sabi, whereby you mend broken objects with gold fillings, giving them ‘golden scars’. It’s know as Kintsugi or Kintsukuroi.
Think of a bowl or teapot that has been dropped onto the floor. What would you do with it? You’d most likely pick up the pieces and throw them away. But not with Kintsugi. Here you bring the pieces of broken pottery back together and glue them with liquid gold. Wouldn’t that make them imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed yet somehow more beautiful? Kintsugi reminds us that there is great beauty in broken things because scars tell a story. They demonstrate fortitude, wisdom, and resilience, earned through the passage of time.
“Why hide these imperfections or golden scars when we are meant to celebrate them?” ~ Omar Itani
That’s how I see my scar – a beautiful imperfect that shows that brokenness can be healed and made whole again. Real… not perfect.
One of my favorite quotes is from Leonard Cohen, “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” Maybe that cracks or scars actually let your light out, to be seen and shared with others?
Christy Chambers is a 2023 Cervivor School Graduate and Cervivor community member thriving beyond Stage IVB cervical cancer. She resides in Monroe, North Carolina with her husband, son, and doggo, Ethel Mertz.