“Hey Girl” Video Highlights the Importance of Support

Cervical Cancer Awareness Month (CCAM) is very much about advocacy, education and outreach. It’s about making our voices heard and about not allowing cervical cancer – and the toll that it takes – to be invisible or stigmatized. This is very much is the mission of Cervivor. Yet, there is also a quieter yet equally as important mission: to be here for each other, to be a support, a shoulder to cry on, an experience-sharer, and a place to go for connection with someone who has been in the same place, fighting the same disease. 

Emily and Cervivor Founder, Tamika Felder

Cervivor’s video “Hey Girl” highlights the lifeline that the Cervivor community has been for so many. 

“To the girl who’s just been diagnosed with cervical cancer, I want to say, ‘Hey girl – I’ve been there too.’ I understand what you’re going through. Your mind is spinning, you’re confused. I just want you to know that you are not alone,” says pink-haired Iowa-based Cervivor Ambassador Emily Hoffman to the camera, kicking off the video.

Emily shares some of her experiences with Cervivor support and connection below:

Q: How did you plug into the support network of Cervivor? What does it mean to you?

It’s funny that I’m in a video that will be shared across social media, as I am not active on social media at all. I don’t use Facebook or Instagram or Twitter. I also wasn’t active on it back when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2013 at age 30. I’d gone through diagnosis and treatment alone, without a supportive community to connect with, share with or learn from. I didn’t know that I needed it. I didn’t realize how alone the disease had made me, and how alone I had made myself. 

I first found the Cervivor website in early 2014 a few months after my treatment ended, and I spent the next 24 hours on it! At the time, I was experiencing so many side effects from my radiation. On Cervivor.org, I finally found ‘my ladies, my community.'” I read every story, every page of the site. I clicked on the link to CervivorTV on YouTube and I watched every episode. I literally stayed up all night.  That was the first time I’d found other young adults with cervical cancer. The website became my lifeline! The website became my connection to other young women who had been where I’d been and had gone through – and were going through – the same thing I was. I no longer felt alone.

Through Cervivor events and events like CancerCon, I met others in the Cervivor community. The people whose stories I’d benefited from online became real to me. They put me in touch with other cervical cancer survivors. Suddenly, I had women just like me to talk to, to call, email, and text. 

Cervivor School 2019, Chicago

Today, six years later, I am a Cervivor School graduate and a Cervivor Ambassador. I’m still not on social media, but I’m connected in so many other ways. If I have a worry or frustration or scare – I have people – via email, text, phone and in person – to reach out to who ‘get it.’

Q: How did you come to be the face of the “Hey Girl” video?

One of the activities I participated in at the 2019 Cervivor School was to write a letter to a woman who was newly diagnosed with cervical cancer. I guess my letter moved people, because the next thing I knew, I was asked to record and film it! 

Because we were writing to an anonymous woman, I struggled with how to start the letter…so I sort of naturally landed on “Hey girl” as a greeting, because it felt informal, friendly and inviting. Little did I know that “Hey girl” is actually a popular internet meme – which people told me later – that features Hollywood heartthrob Ryan Gosling saying all sorts of romantic stuff. Maybe that’s why my letter got such a good response, without me even trying.

While people have shown me the Ryan Gosling memes (they really are quite funny!), my own “Hey girl” message is no joke. It’s true, personal and heartfelt. Women need to know that they are not alone. Women undergoing diagnosis and treatment – and the after effects of treatment – need to know that there is a whole community of women – a whole organization of Cervivors – here to support them.

Q: Six years after your cancer diagnosis, how do you plug into the Cervivor network of support today?

I take great comfort in knowing my Cervivor community is here for me. I have the phone numbers of many of the women I’ve connected with, that I carry with me wherever I go, for whenever I may need them. For example, when I come out of an oncology follow-up appointment, I know who to text. In fact, recently my doctor said something not bad, but not particularly comforting – something I wasn’t exactly sure how to interpret despite my questions. It sent me spiraling. So I sent a text out and I got responses back in two minutes. That’s all I needed. They heard me, they got it. They put me at ease in a way no one else could at that moment. In this community, we can always be unfiltered and  never need to worry about judgement.

Now, being active in the Cervivor community gives me a sense of purpose as a cancer survivor. It enables me to use my experience to make a difference to other survivors. This video will make a difference!

About Emily

Emily is a 6+ year cervical cancer survivor and Cervivor Ambassador who is also involved with the Iowa Cancer Consortium and Iowa Department of Public Health on cervical cancer prevention initiatives. Read her Cervivor story.

Our Resolutions To Ourselves As Cancer Survivors

Throughout Cervical Cancer Awareness Month, we focus on outreach and educating others. But in this time of new year’s resolutions and new beginnings, let’s not forget about ourselves. A few resolutions for life beyond cancer include: 

  • No longer sweat the small stuff. We know just how short life can be. Therefore, let’s not waste time on things (or people!) that really don’t matter, or build us up.
  • Cherish the people who really matter to you.  Our time is precious. Choose to spend it with people who matter.
  • Love the skin you’re in. We may all yearn for our lives before cancer. But the truth, following our experiences, we are no longer that person. Embrace the new you. It just might surprise you!
  • Try to leave fear behind: Those of us who are still here are blessed to be alive, no matter the physical or emotional limitations. We may be plagued by fear of re-occurrence, occasionally or continually. But it’s important to keep that in check and  live… like never before.
  • Enjoy life. Give yourself permission to enjoy, relax, and to rest and reset. 
  • Be adventurous. Do things that scare the crap out of you. Why? Because they remind you that you’re still here.
  • Spend time outdoors for physical and mental health. Whether you want to exercise, find a quiet space to sit, or even just picnic outside with friends, the outdoors is a great space to be in the moment, find beauty in the world and forget about responsibilities that may induce stress.
Survivors keeping one another motivated and challenged! They understand!
  • Make “healthy” fun: Find ways to make your health goals also fun goals. For example, schedule walks with friends instead of lunches or dinners. At Cervivor, we offer the “Survivor Slimdown” – a Facebook community focused on health and weight loss that is both supportive, motivating and fun.
  • Plug in to your community: Don’t be afraid to lean on friends, family and ask for the specific help you may need. The clearer we can be articulating the type of support we may need, the better our support will be. And of course, plug into Cervivor wherever and whenever you need us. We are here for you!

May we all have a happy, productive, fulfilling and healthy 2020!

For more tips on living your best life during and beyond cancer, check out Cervivor Founder, Tamika Felder‘s book, Seriously, What Are You Waiting For? 13 Actions To Ignite Your Life & Achieve The Ultimate Comeback.”