Being A Warrior Is In My Blood

My name Kristine Bahe-Sprigler. I am half Native American and half Caucasian. When I was diagnosed with cervical cancer I had to lean on my heritage for my source of strength. It was a great reminder of the those that came before me and what it meant to have their blood run through mine.

I am from the “Zuni” Clan which is my father’s mother’s clan and “The Water Flow Together” Clan is my paternal grandfather’s clan. This is what defines me as Navajo and is determined from matrilineality.

Navajo women are the matriarch and we (all Navajo’s) introduce ourselves by clan which identifies and defines relationships between individuals and families. When you meet someone with one or more of your same clan, you become related by clan. You can also tell a region by someone’s clan.

The Navajo Nation occupies portions of Southeastern Utah, Northeastern Arizona, and Northwestern New Mexico – the capital being Window Rock, AZ.

You can find hogans on the reservation, which are primarily built from logs and mud. The door always faces East to welcome the sun each morning for wealth and good fortune. Some are used for dwellings, but others are used for ceremonial purposes and regarded as sacred.

My grandfather, Roy Begay, was part of the original 29 U.S. Marines that were recruited and served as a Navajo Code Talker in World War II. He proudly served his country and is a recipient of Congressional Medal of Honor.

My mother is of Irish, English and German heritage. She comes from a very creative line. My grandfather was a musician and played in the U.S. Army band traveling around the bases and performing. He came from a very musical family. I learned to love music by watching my grandfather play while growing up. I chose to play alto sax and piano starting in the fifth grade and played in Jazz and marching bands. My grandmother was a professional dancer traveling between New York and Cuba performing with a partner until she chose to stop dancing to start a family.

My great-great grandfather on my mothers side, George Washington Taggart, was part of the journey of the Mormon Battalion, which was comprised of about 500 Latter-Day Saints that joined the U.S. Army during the Mexican American war, which made several contributions to the settlement of the American West.

I believe my strength comes from both sides of my family. We come from a long line of warriors. I was diagnosed with stage I cervical cancer in 2012 when I was 34 years old to which I received a radical hysterectomy. The decisions leading to that were difficult and heart wrenching as I wasn’t sure our family was complete. I suffered from anxiety and depression for a few years after. Being diagnosed with cancer is difficult – it teaches you humility and vulnerability all the while showing you what strength you possess even years later.

November is Native American Heritage Month, a month dedicated to paying tribute to the ancestry and traditions of Native Americans. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the disparities American Indian and Alaska Native women are facing with cervical cancer. According to the American Indian Cancer Foundation, American Indian and Alaska Native women are nearly twice as likely to develop cervical cancer compared to white women and four times as likely to die from it.

Those are statistics I would like to help change. Cervical cancer is preventable. I share my story to remind you to be proactive with your health. Make those uncomfortable gynecologist/prevention visits and ask about the HPV vaccination for your child(ren).

At the age of 34, Kristine was diagnosed with stage I squamous cell carcinoma. She has found healing and purpose in sharing her story and in advocacy. After her dark and lonely experience with cancer, her goal was and continues to be to empower others to be shame resilient. She became a Cervivor Ambassador after attending Cervivor School in 2016 and she is currently in her 9th year of survivorship with no evidence of disease.

A Promise Kept

Today is National Coming Out Day. I reflect on the different aspects of being gay, having been closeted for years, the amount of courage and fear associated with coming out, and the gain in finally being who I am and love, who my soul desires. I reflect on the years that I spent soul searching knowing that the spark was slowly lighting from within when I was given a “post-hysterectomy-oophorectomy cancer diagnosis” in 2010. 

However, it was not until another seven years later that I would embark on the journey from within my soul that would actually allow me to comprehend what “truly living in my authentic life” meant. 

In January 2016, my best friend, Nikki, gained her heavenly wings after a long battle against ovarian, lung, liver, bone, and brain cancers. In one of my final visits at her bedside, she said something to me that resonated so deep within my soul. She whispered to me “Promise me. Promise me you will start living. Really live life! I love you so much, friend!” 

Tina & Her Friend, Nikki

That moment was the beginning of a “shift” in my life.

I realized I owed it to myself and to my daughter to begin healing and authentically seeking who I am because I was living a life that displayed dishonesty of ones’ self to my own daughter. I didn’t want her growing up with less self value than her worth because she was afraid to chase after what her heart longs for. 

While the healing process is a long road traveled, I didn’t have the support that I expected. I battled survivor guilt, anxiety, and stress from years of processing the hysterectomy oophorectomy treatment I had undergone.

I learned that a cancer caregiver can be a multitude of people in many seasons of life. While the ones who cared at my bedside post surgery were not the same caregivers helping me with accepting and loving myself while healing from past traumas. 

Then I met the caregiver who completed my soul. 

On October 9, 2017, I met Tara, who equally challenged and changed my life for the better in every aspect imaginable. It was the amount of wholeness and love that I knew I could not contain from the world so this led to my coming out journey. 

Tina & Tara at Pride Festival 2019

As a cancer survivor, I undergo an annual wellness pap test and exam to ensure there is no reoccurrence. As an openly gay woman, there are challenges in finding a provider who is affirming and one that I am comfortable discussing personal aspects of my relationship with.

I say this in my sweetest mama bear voice, ladies —  cancer does not discriminate. Cancer does not care about your sexual orientation or history. Regardless of your sexual orientation, you still need wellness exams and cancer screenings. Your health is important. There are many resources available to help find an LGBTQ+ affirming gynecologist. 

Since coming out, I have found a new gynecologist who is LGBTQ+ affirming. It took several attempts with researching websites. While it shouldn’t matter, it does. You should feel completely safe, confident and comfortable with your gynecologist. 

I have not always had a great support system. I understand the pain and anxiety associated with loss of friends and family in the coming out process, but I also know the happiness and joy in finally filling the void that was keeping me from living my authentic life.

My message to my LGBTQ+ cancer community is quite simple: Kudos to you for owning your story, stepping into your brave, embracing your chaos and breaking free from the chains of conformity to find your contentment.  

Pride Festival 2019

I know how challenging the journey can be! Even though we travel on the same road as another person, our destination and duration are unique.

Remember, it is necessary to take a rest and exhale. Freshen up. Look in the mirror and remind yourself why you’re on this trip! Seek the adventure that your heart yearns for.

While I cannot promise the road you travel will always be easy, I can promise it is worth every step.

You are not alone, you are loved, and you are worthy! I relate to your life and I am a “safe place” to come out to for support and encouragement. Someday your journey will be someone else’s survivor guide. 

Much love and light,

Tina

Cervivor community member Tina is a mother of a teenage daughter, partner, and longtime Cervivor supporter. She was diagnosed with cervical carcinoma in situ (CIS) at age 26. Her goal is to help women remember the importance of their cancer screenings regardless of their sexual orientation. She hopes to educate, inspire, and support women, especially in the LGBTQ+ community.