Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow: Cancer & Self Image

I have learned so much from cancer. They say, “Through darkness comes light.” I really believe that’s true.

In remission for the third time, having to lose my hair due to chemotherapy was hard on me as a woman. I know most will say, “It’s just hair.” Even I say it too, just to convince myself to stay strong. But, in fact, it sucks. It truly opened my eyes to everything I once wasn’t happy with.

Having cervical cancer reminded me of how I was so hard on myself and picked myself apart. I know I’m not the only woman who’s ever felt that way. I look back and think, “Wow Jill, you were so beautiful. Why didn’t you see it? Why did you pick yourself apart and not embrace your hips that measured 44 inches, or embrace your Roman nose?” After all, it’s my personal features that give me my character. Don’t get me wrong, I had confidence, but I still found things that I thought weren’t “perfect.” Nothing is perfect!

Every now and then I like to look back on pictures of myself before cancer. Why did I complain? I was fine the way I was. Now I’m fighting something more meaningful. I’m fighting for my life. I’ve learned to embrace life’s changes, how my body has changed and how I’m Mrs. T (bald) once again. Or how going #2 is completely different from before. Because I have a colostomy bag, this is now totally different.

So my advice to other women, especially women with cancer is to love WHO YOU ARE. Be happy with how you were created; focus on what you HAVE and NOT what you DON’T. Believe me, there’s something greater out there for you, if you believe. I’m a people watcher, sounds creepy I know. I often wonder to myself whether or not the person I’m admiring knows how eccentric he or she is. Being in the city regularly due to my medical appointments, I get to see all colors of the rainbow. The culture differences, the true beauty behind just how different we may look. But internally we’re all the same.

No matter what type of cancer you have ladies, just remember, you’re beautiful inside and out. Your inner beauty will always be there. We might need time adjusting to our shiny new heads or new gadgets attached to our bodies. But, with all the hardships that come along with our new appearances and emotions due to cancer, just remember how bad ass we truly are.

I hope to inspire other women dealing with Cervical Cancer to share their stories and true emotions without fear. Tell it how it Is; don’t hold back. Our cancer is tough, but somehow being painted as “easy.” If I can reach you with my story, just imagine who you’ll inspire by sharing yours. Let’s come together, share our stories, and help one another through our battles. We can help prevent future cases of Cervical Cancer, the one cancer that can often be prevented with a vaccine.

From now on, I’m going to love every inch of me because I’m beautiful inside and out. I will also remind my friend’s how beautiful they are as well. You have one life. Live it, love it, embrace the changes, take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself and others.

Now that I’ve gained my confidence back, I’m going to rock my bald head, wear my wigs and not care who’s looking. Because they could really be thinking, “Wow, she’s so fierce.” Those stares may not have anything to do with my cancer.

So gentlemen, don’t be afraid of our appearances, we’re strong women who know how valuable life is, how anything can change but we still ride the waves. How special love truly is. If you see a friend or a loved one going through the changes of cancer, please remind them how beautiful they are.

Jillian Scalfani is a young 34-year-old mother with an incurable form of cervical cancer. She and her children have a great support system when it comes to her friend’s and family. Read more about Jillian here.

From Mother To Mother

I would like to address (without attacking) all the concerned mothers out there who have recently read into all the false information regarding the Gardasil vaccine.

First of all, I would like to say I understand why some mother’s are hesitant to give their children the vaccine. After reading the intent of these articles, who wouldn’t be. But let me reassure you the vaccine is safe and millions of pre-teens receive it every year.

shutterstock_186335381-375x250I feel with so much false information circulating social media it’s easy to believe these stories. For example, I just read an article claiming how Dr. Diane Harper was the “leading researcher” for Gardasil and Cervarix, this information is totally false and also claiming how children don’t need the vaccine. Dr. Diane Harper backs that statement up by telling mother’s across the world that our bodies “can clear the infection in 2 years”.

When actually, researchers don’t truly know if our bodies fight it off completely. We also don’t know why one will develop cancer and another won’t. It’s so dangerous to me that someone with no scientific proof of these alleged injuries caused by Gardasil could urge mother’s to look into the vaccine before vaccinating their children to PREVENT cancer. Let me also remind you, anyone can report a side effect that may have absolutely nothing to do with the Gardasil vaccine. We have to be better advocates for our children, we need to get the facts and not some Internet medical bologna.

I would urge women to go the CDC.GOV /HPV.com for accurate information regarding the Gardasil vaccine and HPV-RELATED cancers.

PicSayPro$201f50903_101111-picsayI knew very little about HPV, nothing of cervical cancer or all the other cancers HPV can cause. In 2006, I actually denied the Gardasil vaccine because I too was misinformed. Let’s fast forward to 2014, after never missing a Pap smear or ever having an abnormal Pap smear, I was diagnosed with stage 2A1 cervical cancer. I couldn’t believe it, I was so pissed and after all isn’t it preventable with annual Paps? I was so angry, I pulled all my medical records and contacted an attorney right away. How could I? I was healthy and took care of myself, I feel when tragedies happen to us we naturally want to hold someone or something accountable. I now have recurrent cervical cancer and currently, there’s no cure. I would do ANYTHING to protect my children, I would die for my children and coincidentally I’m fighting for my life; for my children. I will be vaccinating both of my boy’s to prevent HPV-related cancers, genital warts and to also protect their future partners.

I too was misinformed and not vaccinated. I would give anything to have Gardasil available when I was a pre-teen. The numbers of HPV infections are dropping, the vaccine works guys so protect your children. Cancer is horrible and HPV doesn’t discriminate.

Please talk to your pediatrician or better yet, call the CDC. Too many people are suffering from the affects of HPV. Get your info from a reliable source and not some hocus pocus on the Internet. Ask yourself why are we denying science and why have we become a generation who is opposed to vaccines that have been saving lives for decades? There is no hidden agenda, vaccines work.

Don’t you want to protect your children from potential cancer? I do…

Jillian Scalfani is a #Cervivor of cervical cancer, not once but twice and she’s currently in remission and her goal is to educate and empower women on the facts of HPV and HPV-related cancers. 

She is a long time Massachusetts resident, mother of two and a hairdresser. She enjoys spending her time with her family and friend’s as each day is a gift and takes nothing for granted.