We Are Cervivor

Our Scars

As cancer survivors and patients, we carry our scars, visible and invisible, with us forever. These scars hold pain and trauma but they are also reminders of how we do heal, how we move through our new world changed but still living our lives out loud.

Whether you wear your scars as badges of honor, gently acknowledge why they are here or chose not to give them the time of day, we commend your choice. You have been through too much to ever feel you need to conform to anything outside of your own comfort.

This post was inspired by community member Christy Chambers and her post, What A Beautiful Mess.

Tiera W – 6 Leeps. 6 biopsies. 1 oophoropexy. 36 rounds of radiation . 5 rounds of chemo. 6 brachytherapies. 3 PET-scan. 10 MRI’s. 2 Bone Scans. 40 Hyperbaric Oxygen Treatments. Left Hydronephrosis. 120+ Pelvic Floor therapy sessions. 1 Bilateral Ureter reimplantation. I’m still here surviving and thriving.

Amanda Z – I’ve learned to accept all my scars as badges of bravery. Some are big and some are small – much like the battles I fought during each of them. But each one is a reminder that I prevail. I can and will win. And I’ll keep winning as long as I can. Yes, sometimes I wish I didn’t have them but beauty goes deeper than my scars and I truly try to remember that every day. With scars and a stoma, it’s important for me to remember my victories and use my scars to pull strength from everyday and live my life!

Tammy B – My Laporotomy scar is beginning to fade, but there’s no hiding it. I also have the scars and a lump in my chest from my port. Those things, along with the 50 pounds I’ve gained from the steroids, and my short newly grown hair regrowing since chemo, I don’t look anything like myself. I’m still learning to accept the new person in the mirror.

Dorrie K – When people ask me if I have any tattoos I tell them that I have FIVE but they can’t see them unless I wear the right bathing suit. I’m proud of my tiny black pinpoint sized radiation tattoos – they are my battle scars and remind me of the warrior I was 25 years ago!

Ana R – After 6 abdominal surgeries my stomach is a road map of scars. I wish that when I looked at them I felt strong for all that I have endured, but instead they are a reminder to me of all my body has been through and they make me sad. It took me a full year before I would let my husband touch my stomach after my third major surgery. I hope someday they will be a source of strength to me, but for now, they are just a reminder of the many things cancer has changed about my life.

Sara J – Leep/Cone 2019. Radical hysterectomy 2022. Chemo/Radiation 2022. Chemo 2023. I wasn’t sure how I felt about my large abdominal incision but after my radical open hysterectomy, it’s just one more step I took to help save my life. It shows strength, beauty, and courage.

Leesa J – My scar is my blessing and my nightmare all wrapped up in one. It’s one single scar that represents both birth and death: the birth of my one and only child and the death of any future pregnancies. A birth that saved my life because had I not gotten pregnant, my cancer would have been very advanced by the time it was found, and a death that took my uterus and my ability to grow another life inside of me ever again. I carry my scar proudly and even though it is a painful reminder of all that was lost, all I have to do is look at my son and see the beauty in it.

Rachel S – I am living the new normal being a survivor. I have scars that are visible. The invisible scar was having a cancer nobody could see.

Thank you so much to our community members who shared their reflections on what it means to survive cervical cancer everyday.

Our bodies have carried us through trauma and to the other side of grief. Invisible scars are just as painful as those that change the landscape of our bodies. Do what you need to do to live and thrive with them and despite them.

In case you need a reminder, you are beautiful. Inside and out. You are a Cervivor, inside and out.

Chapter 2: Growing, Learning, and Thriving Through Cervivor

It seems so surreal to be celebrating another work anniversary with Cervivor. Another year of incredible awareness initiatives, advocacy, education, and outreach plus community support for cervical cancer and HPV-related cancer patients, survivors, and thrivers. If you’re new here, please take a moment and read my introductory blog “Hi, I’m Morgan!” and my “One Year At Cervivor Taught Me” reflection post to bring you up to speed.

I started my cancer journey at 24 years old at a time when I was just getting my footing in my adult life, in my career as a dental assistant, and setting myself up for a bright future ahead. But life has a funny way of placing a wrench right in the middle of those plans we all carefully curate. I wouldn’t face just one cervical cancer diagnosis, but I would be thrown into the arena once again to face a metastatic recurrence in my lungs. I spent the greater part of two years just trying to survive. It was a grave reminder of how truly precious our time is here.   

I’m now standing 8 years out from that initial diagnosis with 7 of them being declared with no evidence of disease. I’ve been reflecting on everything I’ve been through and what I’ve been able to accomplish since then: the end of treatment, starting a Bachelor’s program just two weeks after completing chemotherapy; volunteering as a Cervivor Ambassador and patient advocate for so many organizations in my home state and beyond; all the way to getting my own apartment again, graduating with a Master’s degree, and landing a position with the organization that strengthened my voice.   

Over the course of the last two years, I’ve been learning and defining my role as the Community Engagement Liaison, as a nonprofit professional, and as a patient advocate. It has been a whirlwind of emotions supporting our community, from celebration to the unexpected and inevitable hits – you know, the bad follow-up scans, unexpected treatment side effects, recurrences, and unbearable losses. Cervical cancer is not an easy cancer. There are all of these additional layers of trauma thrown into the mix and it can be hard to articulate everything to those who haven’t set foot in our shoes. But we try. It’s not until we’ve met someone who has been through it and can say, “I have been there,” and “You’ve got this!” that you truly feel heard, accepted, and safe. I know because it happened that way for me too. 

Through it all, we continue to support each other as a community and our mission continues to drive the work we do every single day. Part of that is making sure that no other patient or survivor feels alone like so many of us have. I am reminded of the day I was diagnosed with cervical cancer every time a new request comes into our Comfort Care & Compassion program. I replay what I felt and I put that energy into the love, support, and personalization of that package. 

I am also reminded of my own diagnosis when another woman posts in our private group to share that her cancer is back. It can be heavy to see that over and over again but it only drives my purpose as a community support even further. It empowers me to be brave for others and do important work by reaching out to those who provide care for our community members. In doing so, I’ve been able to build and nurture partnerships like the one with the University of Alabama Birmingham (UAB) and Dr. Christina Wilson. Together we came up with a sexual health and support bag for those going through internal radiation – a little privacy bag for dilators and a business card linking to our support resources here at Cervivor. To hear the feedback from real patients has been truly empowering that we’re doing something meaningful and impactful through this partnership.     

Every time a woman has her ‘ah-ha’ moment through one of our various programming events, it catapults me back to the moment I set foot into a Cervivor School for the very first time. Standing up and speaking at a Cervical Cancer Summit, Cervivor School, or HPV Survivors School, I am in shock and awe that I was in the attendees’ seats only a handful of years ago. It keeps me feeling humble but it’s a great reminder because we are often told just how important our stories are. There is so much truth in that statement because the sharing of our personal stories continues to grow in our outreach across the globe.

2023 is an opportunity to keep learning, growing, and experiencing new things as an individual, community, and organization. One of my favorite parts of this job is getting to know others and their stories – no matter where they’re at in life. To see the uplifting support firsthand from our community members and just how one little “You’ve got this” message isn’t so little at all. Those are the things that drive this community to be who we are today. We are Cervivor. 

I cannot wait to see the expansion of Cervivor, Inc.’s mission even more. It is simple yet impactful and effective: We share our stories to create the change we want to see in this world and in this lifetime. We want to see those who are impacted by cervical cancer to feel empowered and supported because no one should have to ever walk this journey alone.

I know I want cervical cancer to be a thing of the past for our upcoming generations and I believe we can do this. I love to get to know others and the work they are doing in the cervical cancer and HPV-related cancer space! Connect with me on LinkedIn or send Team Cervivor an email at [email protected].

Morgan Newman, MSW, Outside of her Community Engagement Liaison position at Cervivor, you can find Morgan nurturing her relationships with local community partner organizations like the American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network (ACSCAN), the Iowa Cancer Consortium, and serving as a board member for Above and Beyond Cancer. Learn more about Morgan at Cervivor.org.