Resilience

I Get To: A Journey of Resiliency

The lotus flower, in addition to being beautiful, grows in bodies of water from the bottom. Through mud and water, the flower leaves float on the surface in hues of pink or white. The concept of resiliency was not new to me. Though young in age, I have felt I have gone through many challenges. None as hard as the year 2021. 

The year of misery began with my thirtieth birthday. Not only did I turn the dreaded 3-0 but that same day my car broke down. Not a great start to the year. Shortly after that, I began showing bizarre symptoms I couldn’t explain. Becoming concerned as they continued a few months later, I began seeing doctors. And more doctors. And more doctors. Ultimately leading to the diagnosis of stage II cervical cancer in May. 

 It is weird to believe that it was not the worst thing to happen that year. A few weeks after my diagnosis I celebrated my son’s second birthday at my house which lead to the bursting of a pipe in my walls that flooded not only my kitchen but my bathroom as well. This led to the deconstruction of the area to get rid of the mold. I was left with no counters, no flooring, and missing half a wall between the bathroom and kitchen. 

I had never felt stress like that. And I had not even begun treatment yet. I was worried about construction, my treatment, and my son. I started my chemo and radiation in July and a week later my beloved dog, Cookie, passed away due to her own battle with cancer. 

Cookie

To give a short background, Cookie was the dog I got in college and who had been with me for a decade through many challenging mental health battles. After she passed, I got low. I didn’t want to fight. I wanted to end it all. But then I remembered I was a mom to a beautiful toddler who needed me. I could not give up. 

I muddled through treatments with low spirits. The construction finished and my home was put back together. My treatments ended and everything looked ok. But my moods had not improved. 

It wasn’t until I attended a conference with a keynote speaker who hit on the concept of changing the words “I have to” into “I get to”. He used examples of “getting to wash the dishes” and so on. His words struck something inside me. In a follow-up meeting with my team after the talk we went around the table saying things we get to do. Most of my colleagues spoke about getting to do laundry because that means they had clothes and other great things. When it got to me I very quietly said “I get to be with my son because the cancer did not win”. 

Silence filled the room followed by light applause. I wasn’t exactly looking for that type of response but suddenly my mood clicked. I get to continue my life. I get to continue learning and sharing precious moments with my son. I get to give another lonely dog in a shelter a happy life. I get to live! 

And since that conference, every time I feel that I am hitting a wall especially when dealing with doctor follow-ups and tests, I just silently tell myself “I get to do this”. 

Rachel Rump lives in South Bend, Indiana. She is a mother of one and a stage II cervical cancer survivor. New to Cervivor, Rachel hopes to connect with others as well as serve as an advocate in the ongoing battle against cancer. 

How We Went from Pudding to Acceptance

Two years ago, my husband and I received the devastating news that I had been diagnosed with cervical cancer. At the time, the mere mention of the word “cancer” was enough to send us into a state of panic. To cope with the fear and uncertainty, we came up with a unique way of talking about my diagnosis: we referred to it as “a pudding.”

This simple act of renaming the disease allowed us to talk about it more openly, without being overwhelmed by fear. We could discuss my treatments, prognosis, and how we were feeling without feeling like the weight of the world was on our shoulders. I used this little cute pudding emoji when I texted someone about it, and encouraged some of my close friends to do the same. 

As the months went by, we faced numerous challenges and struggles, from painful treatments to emotional turmoil. But with the support of family, friends, and a dedicated medical team, we slowly but surely found the strength to keep fighting. Over time, our outlook on life changed as we learned to embrace each day and live in the moment.

Fast-forward two years, one of my friends texted me saying “how is your pudding?”, and this was when I realized that the word “pudding” is no longer a part of our vocabulary; we can now say “cancer” without fear or hesitation. My husband didn’t even remember the fact that we used to call it a pudding. This represents a major shift in our mindset and how we perceive the disease. We have learned to accept the reality of my diagnosis and move forward with it. We have come to understand that cancer is just a word, and it does not define who we are or what our future holds, although I also feel like cancer is now a big part of my life in both good and bad ways.

This journey has been incredibly difficult, but it has also taught us so much about ourselves and life. We have learned that it’s okay to be afraid, and it’s also important to face our fears and embrace the journey. By being open and honest about our experiences, we hope to inspire others who may be going through a similar situation and help them overcome their fears and pains.

In conclusion, our journey from “pudding” to acceptance has been a powerful reminder that we are strong, bonded and we get through difficulties together. By embracing the reality of my diagnosis and focusing on one thing at a time, we have found the strength and resilience to overcome the difficult situation and move forward with hope. I am currently facing issues with my body due to side effects from cancer treatments, and those sometimes make me feel like I am mentally not well, but one thing we know is I will feel better again. We will get through this. I am now much more confident and have more faith in myself.

Survivor & Caregiver

Looking back over the past two years, time and patience were the most important things in this process of moving forward. In my darkest moments, I turned to a support group of fellow cancer survivors, Cervivor, who provided me with comfort, encouragement, and a sense of community. I am amazed by the resilience of these individuals, who have gone through similar experiences and come out on the other side. Their stories gave us the courage to keep moving forward, even on our toughest days. This is why I am writing this blog post, hoping to give a ray of hope for anyone who is currently suffering. I will continue to tell my story as a way to inspire others and to remind you that you are not alone. 

Anna was born and raised in Japan and came to the U.S. in 2015. After she survived cervical cancer in 2021, she became a Cervivor School graduate in 2022. She is a business development professional working for a Japanese corporation. She currently lives in Washington state with her husband and their fur babies. In her spare time, she enjoys gardening, cooking and watching shows & movies. She is passionate about fostering dogs to give them a second chance.