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Caregivers Are Priceless

Celebrated every November, National Family Caregivers Month, is an opportunity to honor the caregivers in our lives whether they are family or chosen family.

Hear from the Cervivor community as they share beautiful messages of love and appreciation for the people and other resources that have given them strength, support, and kindness.

Kyana

My caregiver/fiancé. He has been there for me through so many different situations. We’ve had bumps in the road but love prevails. He fed me, bathed me, clothed me when I was too weak and gives hugs all the time. Most of all, he spoke life into me by encouraging and motivating me every single day.

Tammy

My husband has been amazing through this whole thing. Spoils me rotten with anything I need, comes with me to all of my appointments, asks questions I wouldn’t even think to ask, has voluntarily taken over taxi duty for our two teenagers, and he bought me a fancy bidet toilet seat as a “Let’s kick cancer’s ass” gift. What more can I ask for??? So incredibly grateful for him.

Selena

“Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible.” ~ Tia Walker

Having been on both sides – patient vs caregiver, I’ve found I prefer to give as receiving can be difficult at times. Being overwhelmed with generosity can feel difficult to live up to.

Victoria

My hubby has been by my side every minute of every appointment, side effect, bad day, etc. This was him holding my hand while waiting for a brachy appointment. He’s my rock. My comforter. My best friend. And, my caregiver. I know it’s not easy for him (I myself have been a caregiver to my dad and my mom), and it’s definitely not easy for him to watch the person he vowed to love forever to be in pain. To suffer. To possibly face a future without them.

Karen

This is my baby girl. When I got diagnosed with stage 3B cervical cancer four years ago, she sold her home, packed her five children up and moved in with me. I’ve also had to have a surgery due to cancer in my lung and because the radiation had deteriorated my bones from my belly button down, I had a total hip and knee replacement.

Multiple strokes kept me in the hospital but she’s been by my side from the day that I heard, ‘you have cancer’. We get on each other’s nerves once in awhile but that’s what mothers and daughters do and at the end of the day I know she’s got my back.

She is also an amazing caregiver to her five children; a set of six year old twin girls, her seven year old boy, an 11 year old son with Asperger’s and ADHD, who was born with no rectum and had a colostomy bag for quite a few years, and a soon-to-be 13 year old daughter. I always say I’m very blessed and our house is always filled with love.

Patti

My caregiver. My support. My love.

He held my hand throughout the journey and he hasn’t let go.

Lisa

My hubby was always a bit of a grumpy guy but this last year he has turned into a big old softy. The day after my radical hysterectomy he, without being asked, brushed my hair for the first time ever. He works 12 hours from our home and took off a month after surgery to look after me.

This November, Cervivor has partnered with Caregiver Action Network for their national campaign #CaregiverAnd. It’s an opportunity to celebrate the identities and passions that enrich your life. Check out Caregiver Action Network’s Family Caregiver Toolbox. It’s full of great resources for every topic!

The Heart of a Caregiver

Dr. Nina Rickenbacker Edwards lost her daughter Teolita to cervical cancer in 2019. Teolita had been an active member of Cervivor and a proactive advocate about cervical cancer. “Whenever or wherever Teolita was given an opportunity to speak, she would use that time to raise awareness about cervical cancer,” Nina reports. In honor of her daughter’s mission to outreach and educate, Nina shares some lessons and perspectives on caregiving for Caregiver Awareness Month.

My daughter Teolita passed in August 2019 – just a few weeks shy of her 39th birthday. During Teolita’s cancer journey, I reflected on the many roles that Teolita said I had played in her life: teacher, preacher, doctor, chastiser but most all, mother and best friend. Later during Teolita’s journey, I had to officially add the role of caregiver and provide support and care for my independent, brave and strong adult daughter when her physical health was waning.

I learned that there are some key characteristics one must have  – or develop – to be a loving caregiver: a heart that is full of compassion, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and gentleness.

  • Compassion comes from within. You understand what someone else is going through. You strive to do all you can to connect with the person you are giving care. 
  • Joy comes from accepting the challenge of taking care of someone and knowing that you are providing them with all the care and support you can provide. You feel useful, needed, and even gain a sense of purpose.  
  • Peace can be found in caregiving, regardless of the circumstances you are confronted. When you know that you have done all that you can, even if negative situations arise you can find peace in knowing that you gave it your all. 
  • Patience is a requirement for successful caregiving.  Patients needs can change daily, so you must be able to adjust to change on short notices. 
  • Kindness, goodness, and gentleness are essential to meeting and managing the needs of those in are care.

It was painful as a mother to see my daughter suffer. It was hard to watch my daughter fight with all she had. Teolita had such drive, determination, resilience and passion. But even in my own pain, I learned that as a caregiver, when we care for others from the heart, we can adapt to the circumstances and conditions of the loved one under our care.  In doing this, I received a profound sense of purpose and satisfaction knowing that I had a direct impact on the quality of my daughter’s life.

The advice Teolita would share with so many women was “you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and twice as beautiful as you would ever imagine. Never give up, never give in. You had cancer; cancer didn’t have you.”

I think this advice applies to caregivers too. You are braver than you believe and stronger than you ever envisioned you could be. Be good to yourself so that you can give care with a full heart. As caregivers, we give so much of ourselves. Take a break and recharge.  You cannot possibly take care of another person if you are not physically and mentally healthy yourself.

To honor her daughter and continue Teolita’s mission of education and cervical cancer prevention, Nina and her community host an annual Teolita S. Rickenbacker Cervical Cancer Awareness Fundraiser Luncheon. See news coverage and TV clips of the January 2020 event.